Pieces of My Crumbling Life

Bye Bye :)

2008-12-12T20:56:00.004+08:00

Tagged by Natalie.

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leave a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to read your blog.

Starting time: 9.00PM
Name: Ahmad Ishqi
Sisters: 1
Brothers: 3
Shoe size: 10/9/8 (different size for different foot xD)
Height: 171cm

Where do you live: Malaysia
Favorite drinks: Water
Favorite breakfast: toast?
Have you ever been on a plane: A couple of times.
Swam in the ocean: Yes
Fallen asleep in school: few times :)

Broken someones heart: I think so.
Fell off your chair: Lots of times xD
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Few times
Saved e-mails: Yup, but now i think i should delete them.
What is your room like: HUGE lol my room is my house since i sleep everywhere xD
What's right beside you: bed

What is the last thing you ate: rice
Ever had chicken pox: yup
Sore throat: few months back
Stitches: yup
Broken nose: now ,i will look like dumbledork if i have xD
Do you believe in love at first sight: yes and no
Like picnics: depends
Who was the last person you danced with: T-T i cant dance!
Last made you smile: Yam Nee
You last yelled at: My lil bro
Talk to someone you like: ha?
Kissed anyone: My parents?

Get sick: har? whoever wrote this seriously need to brush up their english xP!
Talked to an ex: nah
Miss someone: ryn-chan, my da jie and my class mates
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: no
What's under your bed: earthworms. seriously i sleep everywhere xD
Who do you really hate: eto.. i dunno haha

What time is it now: 9.09PM

RANDOM
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now: yup
Q: Do you have any siblings: Yes
Q: Do you want children: Yes
Q: Do you smile often: Ouch my cheeks hurt right now :D
Q: Do you like your hand-writing: No. *STOP COMPLAINING BOUT MY HANDWRITING! BAH!
Q: Are your toenails painted: No

Q: Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: erm yours? just kidding xD
Q: What color shirt are you wearing: Grey
Q: What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday: Trying hard not to scream at everyone.
Q: I can't wait to: Go
Q: When did you cry last: Cant remember
Q: Are you a friendly person: When i wanted to

Q: Do you have any pets: No
Q: Where is the person you have feelings for right now: Home i guess
Q: Did the last person you held hands with you mean anything to you now?: Yup my crazy lil brother
Q: Do you sleep with the TV on?: No.
Q: Who was the last person you cried in front of?: Err i guess my mother. wayyy when i was young
Q: How many people can you say you've really loved?: one. my momma :D

Q: Do you eat healthy?: When i want to
Q: Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: No.
Q: Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Maybe. I guess no.
Q: How often do you go to temple?: Why should i go to a temple?
Q: If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: My dream personas xD or anyone care to listen to me rant xD
Q: Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: Loud and quiet. Depends on crowd

Q: Are you confident?: Over confident?
Q: What are you doing right now?: Chatting
Q: Have you ever crawled through a window?: Always
Q: Can you handle the truth?: It depends.
Q: Are you closer to your mother or father?: Mom

Things you did 10 years ago: Got into troubles
Things on your to-do list today: Pack my bag

5 snacks i enjoy:
1. Chocolate
2. Ice cream.
3. Chocolate
4. Ice Cream
5. Chocolate? xD.

5 things i would do if i was a billionaire:
1. Donate them :D
2. Build an empire?
3. Rule the world?
4. Buy my self a chocolate and ice cream factory xD
5. Try to make a gazzilion?

5 places i have lived in:
1. My house.
2. Hotel.
3. Apartment.
4. Chalet.
5. My imagination xD

5 jobs i've had:
1. Student.
2. Prefect.
3. Program Organiser
4. Shop Keeper
5. Editor

Ending time: 9.27PM

5 people to tag:
1. Kimmy
2. Yek Guo
3. Kelvin Chin
4. Ming Wei
5. Yee Siang

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LOL i cant believe it its been 7 months since the last time i blogged!
Ok actually this blog was dead. And soon to be officially dead tonight :)
To quote Mr Bobby 'everything must have a prologue, climax and an epilogue'. Thus i shan't let this 'story' end without a proper ending.

Hmm.. lots of things happened since the last 7 months. Funny thing was i actually enjoyed all of it. I didnt expect that 2008 gonna be such a wonderful year with SPM and all but it was! My friends were great! The teachers Rox! And all the subjects seemed so easy to me :) and i had lots of fun hanging out with all moi class mates. But now its ending. And we're all taking different paths. I think i'll be departing on mine soon enough :(

Things always like this. Just when you have all of it you know you gonna lose it all. I know it all too well and i think i had my fair share of losses to the point where i regard all my winning as my losses. Pathetic i know but how can i not feel like that?

Lets try to be optimistic. I know i've learn from my losses. And i try, hard as it seems, to tell my self than someway somehow in God's Grace that i'll meet my friends again. And somehow we shall stay as friends. But lets be realistic. Wait what is realisitic anyways? xD

So anyways, as a conclusion of this 2 years old blog I say that geez.. i'm not that different after 2 years? wow xD. Nah. I'm more matured now. Too matured for my age group that i have to act childish (till too much xD) to fit in haha. But to those who know me that well i think they know how complicated i can be. err.. * counting with moi fingers... LOL guess not many people actually saw me being me after all.

I'll miss you guys a lot. Truly. Its too bad that i cant join you guys for the steamboat or the Class Trip tho i really wanted too. Hope you guys have fun and if i come back and see class blog is dead or you guys post pathetic post about the Class Trip i haunt you till you cant sleep!

Well Sayonara! T-T

In the end i didnt do what i wanted to do after all. ~~I am such a jerk and a pathetic a**!~~

Jamuan Koperasi - 1st May (Baby Delivery Day)

2008-05-03T21:15:00.007+08:00

uh, i remembered the last time i went to Jamuan Koperasi. It was a lot of dim sum that i think dim sum dollies will be jealous of us. But this year, well after 2 years of dim sums i don't think any of us wanted another dim sum buffet (except me) so, i think under pn gan's idea we went to danga bay for lunch.

the bus which was quite early

The lunch was supposed to start around 12 but we were there around 11.30 and we got to wait for like 1 hour or so until they serve the food. sth about waiting for others to come or waiting for the food to be cooked that i dont know. what i know was that i played with drinks yet again.

They served tea while we were waiting. small small cup brim full of tea that kena refill even if we only take a sip. Jeremy got pissed because the waitress always refil his so i gave him the idea of mixing light soy sauce into his drinks. well i dont really think he'll do that at first. then after i said kar wei surely do it he took the soy sauce and poured it inside his cup. yuck!

after that things got really nasty. Because kw chicken out. I took his soy sauce and poured inside his and add some chili sauce in and earn few nasty looks from the waiters xD. intimidated jeremy took some pepper and another batch of soy sauce and add it into his cup which earn him another cup of tea!

after about few lame jokes they finally serve us food

first one was starch soup with guess what SHARK FIN. and i was like--err should i eat wei hong or should i not. NOOO~ good thing kar wei told me there was only about 1% of it inside (which now i think he lied).

then its this thigy which i think is chicken in pastry wrap

then its chicken

and yam

then this prawn which disappeared before my eyes because no one want to eat it.

and this hugeee fish which Jeremy gouged the eyes out and eat the cheeks.

and this weird thingy magigy with chest nuts or wat ever nut it was with soy bean thingy plus some cauliflower and carrot

the lunch was eventless. unlike dim sum which in the end we got to play some nasty games, this lunch was boriiing and not that satisfying especially with this girl as our waitress. scary look she need some smile :)

random eating scene

then finally its desert which was very corny xD

we had about 45 minutes of free time after lunch which was spent like water... and ducks

in the end no group photo (my preference)

Sigmund Freud's Priorities - try and share it

2008-04-28T23:54:00.002+08:00

Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In which sequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!
2. The baby is crying!
3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!
4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!
5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!

In which sequence would you solve these problems? Write the sequence and check below how your decisions were made.

BUT BE HONEST, THE FINDINGS ARE EXCITING.

First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then scroll below and read after
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Answer:

Every individual point represents something in your life.
On the list you can see which meaning every point has:
1. Telephone represents Work
2. Baby represents Family
3. Door represents Friends
4. Clothes represent Money
5. Tap represents Love Life

Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life.

Mine was 5,2,3,1,4 whats yours?

Urgh...

2008-04-20T09:07:00.002+08:00

I have to admit that this year life is, and going to be, very hectic and stressful. SPM and all I just hope this year would dissolve to nothing-ness. But since that is not possible there have to be a way to let the stress dissolves away instead. Hence the lala way I had.

I know it sounds stupid in fact it is stupid, once you have seen it, it is even stupider. But it is the only safe way compared to smoking, drugs and err… ice-cream and chocolate. And it is effective also, after all the jokes and laughing. After all laughing is the best medicine.

But insanity (another way to say lala if you don’t know yet) is just simply contagious. NO it is not a line from Soul Eater but it is the outright truth. I know because I have seen it well and experienced it also and of course I had tested it out. Call me an insane human experimentalist or what ever it is. It is just a curiosity and I had to test it out.

There is actually a reason for the test. It is not just because I was curious and had to. It because I have to know that if I ever transverse again to my lala side will the ones around me affected. And it is fairly important after I had a glimpse of the effect. And after that I swear that if I ever get high again (not on purpose) smack me dead.

Usually, Kar Wei is my crazy sponge since he won’t make a lot of spiteful remarks and sometimes we will joke on anything even the slightest thing like a look. Who are you looking at? Err…not you? xD. But because he won’t make remarks he can never be my subject so off I go to err…mess George’s life.

Few days around George and some of my crazy side actually got into him which was shocking since I knew him as someone who is very quiet. I won’t go to details on how and what I did but it was certainly unpleasant. And now I know its better to be morose and depressed rather than mask it with lala-ness.

And I mean it. Smack me dead if I ever get high again. Urgh I being high is sooooooo wrong.

I LOVED YESTERDAY

2008-04-12T21:09:00.005+08:00

I LOVED YESTERDAY

"Laugh Away"
"My Generation"
"Find Me"
"No Way"
"Namidairo"
"Daydreamer"
"Love Is All"
"I Will Love You"
"We Will Go"
"Oh Yeah"
"My Friend"
"Love & Truth"
"Am I Wrong?"

YUI just released her new album called I LOVED YESTERDAY on the 9^th April. Comprises of 13 songs (not including the limited edition version which has addition of 5 songs in DVD) the album is so far one of my favourite album. Don’t ask me how I got hold of the songs yesterday.

Honestly lately I began to have some thought that YUI style is getting monotonous. Albeit the fact that her songs are undeniably good, sometimes they just prompt me to press next button whenever I get to them. But this album certainly altered back my perspective and reminded me of the reason I love her songs in the first place.

It is the soothing and simplicity of the songs that I love. As her songs is neither too loud nor too soft. Nor are they, also, that ballady (or sometimes I like to call emo-y) or very ‘rocky’. It is just… YUI-ish. Simple and unique.

I love most of the songs in album but personally I love these the most : Namidairo (my fav single), My friend, Laugh Away, Love is all, Daydreamer and of course No way, which is to me the best song in the album. The first time I heard it I had to play it twice just to make sure that the song is not corrupted or something because it is freaking short but it rocks nonetheless. Hope she releases the full version or something (like what Ayumi did with Mirror-cle World) because I cant get enough of it.

So –draw in a deep breath – ALL YOU READING THIS GOTTA BUY IT then gimme xP.

Note: honestly I did not download the songs. I swear.
REALLY LARR I DID NOT! DUN BELIF ME IZZIT???
OK OK. go blame Kar Wei. He downloaded it then told me about it. CANNOT TAHAN WEI!! T-T

Oh, I did not save the song in my com either :)

Late Late Hari Kecemerlangan Post

2008-04-08T17:05:00.006+08:00

Hari Kecemerlangan aka the pay check day for people like me. Woke up late (always) since its Saturday well actually not that late but late enough to be one of the first to reach the school haha. One thing about Malaysian or people in general is that they have poor sense of time which in this case me included. Read Yee Siang post on punctuality and craps like that xP

Reached the school about 8+ for the PIBG meeting which i was not included (they should you know. parents these days are so retro xP) and so i was left with my own business. Well i dont planned to do anything to waste the whole 3 hours waiting for the event which started around 10 (or was it 11).surprisingly Yee Siang came.

It’s a real surprise, why? Well this ~~pissed off~~ guy is someone who will not miss his Saturday cartoon line up and the fact that he there was a great leap xD. He told me that the scout having usaha badge test and if I had my u on I could take it with them. But then when I asked Sir Tan he said I could play along. SO there goes my 3 hours, goofin around with the scouts.

We did the lagu undang undang which brought back some memories of my scout days (oh shucks those days rocks) and then did 5 sec knot exam which if one of us fail then the whole group need to do again. Rachel stopped by half way. She said if she knew that we were having fun she would pitched in with us but I saw that she was really busy managing a whole troop of suckers prefects (which was really a bunch of suckers plus cowards times whiners). The exam was cut short tho to give way for the event.

Ok I dun really wan to give details about the whole ceremony which apparently includes me ran off to APD room taking extension and then put up a good face to place a fan for the VIPs which I bet without the fan he’ll melt like butter so thank me. Souvenir for the day:

I got the envelopes and certificates then head home

On monday I heard that kim got 200 for her anugerah tunas harapan in form 2 and I was like OoO or was it o{}o but the case is I was utterly speechless except for one word UNFAIR!! I got 50 when she got 200 not trying to be ungrateful but see the bloody difference 150 bucks gap for crying out loud.

Then the Friday I heard that all the parents were not in favour about me being the pelajar contoh because my result was bad and my co curriculum activities not that impressive. And this was what I told the teacher: “Why in the world they cannot just proclaim to the whole wide world that they are a bunch of ~~farking~~ racist parents? And my result was the best compared to the other candidates”. And she was like ahahaha. There have a taste of me. ~~You can take your money back if you want to it’s 50 like I give a damn about it.~~ on second thought I do xP

p/s:i still havent write about last Sat thing...busy-nya

Funny Vids

2008-04-03T21:56:00.004+08:00

I have nothing to post! i lead one damn boring life rawr why cant i suddenly have power then go kill my self with it xD
School getting tiring everyday its a wonder that those with tuition can coup with it and can STILL PLAY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! i'm dying from not enough sleep and lack of energy (2 plates of rice can last for 3 hours and I AM NOT GAINING WEIGHT LOL).
My class again was filled with shit smell. The second time in my school days at least this time better. The last one was so horrible that i dare not take a peek at all (it oozed and bubbled and smell of 1000 people punya shit)yuck! After about 2 week kena immersed by shit smell at last someone decided we need to get our ass off the shits so off to lab we go haha.
dang im tired I wish for someone to talk to like pronto.Interested?call this number 0xx-7xxxxxx lol

ok, vids below all thanks to George

finally its proven penguins can FLY!!!

reason why chickens look so fresh xD

AHHHHHHHH I REALLY WAN TO SLEEPP!!!

The Oil-Skin Diary

2008-03-31T00:19:00.002+08:00

The Oil-Skin Diary

Jason flicked the lighter and a bright yellow spark lit up the dark room. It went out almost as quickly as it lit. In his hand, wetted by his sweat, was an opened moth-eaten oil-skin diary. It showed signs of retirement and some pages had fallen out of it but Jason held it tightly. He tried the lighter again, flashed it on the minute words. His thumb bled and when the flame went out again, he gave up. “This would not work,” he thought.

He slid the book into his pocket, stood up in the dark; his eyes peering across in the darkness. His vivid memory reminded him of that old Spanish Chest near the door. “Perhaps she stashed something in there,” he thought, and slowly made his way across the room, avoiding the fallen debris, old boxes, trunks and broken dolls. The room was illuminated again; this time from the lightning trailed by a loud thunder crash. Jason cringed. He saw the wooden, carved chest and quickly dashed towards it.

The creaking sound of the rusted hinges sent shivers down his spine and when the lid gave way with a loud groan, he smiled triumphantly. Jason ransacked through the bundles of sheets and old mementos till he felt a long, cold slender object. “An ancient flashlight,” he squealed in delight.

He pulled out the oil-skin book from his pocket and sat down cross-legged on the floor, shook the flashlight and pressed on the knob. It worked! The torchlight flickered for awhile then shone. He flashed it at the diary, sending away a spider nearby scurrying into the darkness and flipped open the pages.

22^nd July 2008

It was sunny. We were playing hide-and-seek in the garden. It took me ages to find my brother. He was hiding inside the bush all the time and I was frantically searching for him in the woods...

I dirtied my pink frock and mum scolded me. I had a great day. Brother spotted an eagle soaring in one graceful circle above us. Brother said it was searching for a bunny and if the eagle thinks I looked enough ‘bunny’ enough, it would swoop down for me. I screamed and ran away... That night, I found an eagle feather on my bed... My brother teased me saying that it was a sign the eagle had chosen me to be its food... I vowed to never sleep again...

Jason remembered seeing the magnificent creature for the first time at the Extinct Museum with his father and wondered how it felt to be able to see one up close as it soars up in circles amidst the big blue sky instead of watching the virtual ones. He pulled up the old feather pinned to the page with a peeled off tape and twirled it with his finger. The brown, white-tipped feather gleamed and silhouetted in the faint light. He imagined it on a real eagle’s body. Oh! How beautiful it must have been!

Jason flipped through the pages with heightened curiosity and enthusiasms. The excitement was getting onto him, and reading every single page he was smiling to himself. At times he chuckled softly, and as his eyes peered upon certain entries, it brought tears to his eyes.

“Ah! The wonders of the olden days”, he sighed as he put the book down and flashed the light at the window panes. The rain water was streaming down the glass. Darkness had overwhelmed the horizon and the moon was well-hidden behind the clouds. With a sigh, he continued sifting through the pages of the worn-out manuscripts.

3^rd January 2009

The weather was really bad today. Brother was admitted to the hospital. He had asthma and I can’t play with him until he is well again. This morning, when I look out the window I can’t even see the pretty flowers that mother planted before. Mother said that it was just the haze and she said that tomorrow’s going to be better. I missed brother. Get well soon...

Jason stood up and walked towards the windows with a blanket in his arms, leaning against the huge wardrobe, slid down and sat on the stone cold floor. He covered himself with the blanket and rested his head on his knees. ‘Tomorrow’s going to be better...’ he quoted from the journal. But has it been now? He thought of the history class he attended the day before. His teacher talked about the pollution that era. It was nerve-wrecking listening to it let alone to experience it. His heart sank upon reading this particular entry.

The rain was getting heavier. The lightning and thunder raced against one another and the room were constantly illuminated by it. Jason calmed himself down. He was afraid of the storm. As a boy, he would snuggle into his parents’ bed in search of comfort and shelter. But now he only had the blanket for comfort. As the thunder softened, he pulled the book carefully out from under the blanket and began reading it again.

17^th December 2009

Outside was pouring again. I haven’t seen brother for almost 3 month. Mother said that he went to a faraway place and she doesn’t know when he will return. Mum cried again last night and I felt really sad.

There were no more lessons. Mum says that my best friend, Alicia has gone to where my brother is too. People have been missing everyday... Where have they gone too? I wonder if I should go there too.

Now we can’t even stay inside our home without wearing the white cloth across our mouths. The water’s dirty... I don’t even feel like drinking it. It tastes funny... What’s happening?

The sun hasn’t shown up for almost a year now and mother’s flowers had all died. The birds had all gone away long time ago. Now I wonder if the eagle is still soaring freely up there...

Tears streamed down Jason’s cheeks. That “Destruction”; it was devastating. Pollutions, catastrophes had caused death. People had suffered and lived in pain for years. Jason sat there motionless. Hot tears of desolation ran down his eyes until it lulled him off to sleep.

He dreamt of the world before; of destruction and death, of the fleeing peoples and the dying animals. He paced among the faceless human who knew nothing about pleasure but yet filled with terror. He traced his steps under the blazing sun along the flooded roads, climbing over fallen concretes and overturned vehicles. He ran until he reached a pond filled with dirtied water. Groping, he kneeled down and splashed the hot water to his face.

Warm sunlight shafted through the windows and fell on Jason’s face. The diary fell to the floor with a thud and he woke up. It was morning. The final page of the journal laid opened. Its ink smeared across the faint handwritings of that little girl. He blinked hard and wiped his tear-stained eyes with the hem of the blanket. Brushing his pants, Jason rose, squinted at the sunlight as he rested his chin on the window sill.

The morning sun was hidden behind the clouds and the filtered rays coursed through the sky like a master’s painting. Birds were chirping their hearts out and squirrels scampered on the trees. He flung the windows open, letting the breeze in, watching the birds flapping their flighty little wings. His father’s red solar-powered car in the garage was visible amidst the light mist and his mother’s colourful garden was bustling gaily with lives.

“This is tomorrow. We realised our mistakes and mended Mother Nature as best as we could. Pollution was history and the ozone layer has been patched up. We are now living harmoniously with nature. We are a part of it...”

Jason sipped in a huge breath and released it slowly, savouring the feeling of morning air. He strode out of the room dragging the blanket after him. In his hand, held firmly, was the voice of the little girl, imprinted in her writings, years ago.

He fished out his Holographic Palm 2200, flashed it on the wall. With his finger, he began writing...

20^th March 2073

Today’s world...

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This is my submission essay for the MPAC Dublin Literary Award for Young Malaysians 2008.
i wonder if they straight away disqualify essay that exceed the word limit (hope they don't or else i'll go gugu gaga)

Pelajar Contoh/Drawings

2008-03-26T16:55:00.011+08:00

AHHHH FORGOT TO WISH YUI A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
HAPPY THE 21st BIRTHDAY YUI XD

Ooooh~
Uwahhhh~
Yeahhhh!

haha i am the pelajar contoh! weird choice. really really weird choice. They should like pick Ming Keat or Kim at least KC but they picked me. Funny i dont have a good quality at all compared to them. Which part of me i wonder should people follow, my procrastinate self? or my selfish part?oh oh i know my emo side! or better my out of the world crazy side:

me: you know i still quite blur about this ikatan. Hey, Yee Siang how you tie a tindih Kasih again? Yee Siang: (take the rope and tie it) nah
me: oh oh thanks...(me trying it out) oh yeah mann i rawk.take the knot and tied it around yin san's neck go dog bark woof woof!
YinSan: =_=
Everyone in class turned to me
Me:(laugh loudly like a mad man)

ok they SHOULD contoh that part of me like pronto ROFL

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aite, i draw a lot lately and manage to scan alot of them too cause well the scanner is just beside me now haha

YamNee the KittyCat

I drew this last saturday. did not dare to pen it at all so i scanned it in pencil (which i could only spot several lines only afterward) so i photoshoped the whole picture. and thus i know your first commment will be: IT IS BLURRED LARR

big original one

thumbnail version

note: for those who want 'em or wishing for a private commenting/flaming you can ask me through my msn at: himuraken29@hotmail.com

I read Book

2008-03-26T00:01:00.004+08:00

Getting number one meaning I can read? Hell yes!
After the self implied no reading ban I put on myself for 2 month at last I can break it. Why? Well because I exceeded even my own expectation. Getting number one was far behind my to-get list this year (number 2 maybe and 10A1 on top of it all). And to make it even sweeter I got 10As but sadly not perfect A1s. It is tainted by some A2s which I am definitely working on it. Rawr watch me as I rule the world <-- me and my proud world (which someone will surely shout PROUD afterward but what the heck).

My high taste in literature is so far unbeatenable (new word I know). I got problem reading book that goes on the winding road of describing all sort of unimportant stuffs at the same time I also have some issues with book that leaves everything so blurry that made me take the winding road of imagining the details (which is taxing when you are speed reading). Plus I totally hate book with a very shaky plot and messy story which most of the time combined with crappy ending and oh so sleepy beginning. So there you have it, my breathing air (which was what Scott from the Mocking Bird said reading is) is one hell of a gourmet, one wrong herb and trash it goes. Nah I was just joking about the trash thing. I’ll read the book but in 1 year time xD.
And thus now I have trouble scouring the library for books.

So far there are only a handful of authors that I adore such as (in no particular order) James Patterson (maximum ride and when the wind blows rocks), Stephen King (his ‘language’ and plot is on top of the world), Khaled Hossini (so far I read one of his book ‘the kite runner’ and it is nicee), JK Rowling (the early and end books only), Agatha Christie (the best mystery book you can ever read) and Truman Capote (so real that it is hard not put it down). And till now I still cannot find a book that can hook me as in really hook me and let me read them again and again and wont let me die of boredom reading them. Though most of the book written by them is really nice but all of them are taxing and tiring especially Stephen King’s however nice it is (maybe except James Patterson’s)

And these are the book that I read in the past 2 weeks

Lisey’s Story – Stephen King
- Super wicked story as what you can expect from one of the best dark/horror/realistic sci-fi author. Though the book circulate around the feeling of a widower who lost her husband but the way the story turns and spins made it impossible to put it down. It is sometimes very sad, scary and funny but most of the time, full with suspense that surely will put you at the edge of your seat. I recommend it for people who love dark/fantasy love story. Note: though sometimes it is classified as horror but to me it is just suspense and scary not horror filled at all.

Self’s Deception - Bernhard Schlink
- An English translated novel from a German novelist. An Agatha Christie like book from a first person perspective which is a pretty difficult way to write a mystery novel (for me I think). But the story line is very smooth and the language is simply easy. Learned a new word: Herr which means Mr. so call me Herr Ikki xD. (the main character name was Self. So when people call him it is Herr Self funny huh?)

Maximum Ride: Final Warning – James Patterson (3 hours ago)
- one word to describe it: ROCKS. Haha I just simply love maximum ride series. truly it is a flight (well of course it is they ARE flying xD.) The book was a kinda too short for my taste and was like my EST essay written in a very flighty way (got it flighty haha) but all in all it is a nice book. A bit sad to spend 30 bucks for 3 hours of entertainment but I can try (which is very difficult) to read it again. MR. BOBBY YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BUY ME THE BOOK AND YOU DID NOT!!!I WANT TO COOK YOU FOR SURE!

Book that i am waiting to read:
1. The book theif - markus zusak
2. A book by Khaled Hossini what sun thingy forgot the name
3. A book by Truman Capote Cold Blood or what ever forgot the name also
4. The ABC murder - Agatha Christie (when can i read this book!!)
5. Maximum Ride book 5 XD
6. Brisingr - Chistopher Paolini (whoever get me this book before september i'll love you like forever! haha)

Had a very sucky day just to make my friend happy. I will never learn my lesson I know. But I got like A LOT OF PAPERS TO RECYCLE THANK ME FOR THAT! That conclude my long post today. Good luck to (in alphabetical order) Kim, Rachel and Yam Nee for the Spelling Bee competition 2moro (as in Wednesday which is today? :P)

au revior~

note: trying all the bombastic words out haha

Ujian Keahlian again?sien...

2008-03-21T19:09:00.006+08:00

Tomorrow will be the third time for me taking Ujian Keahlian Pengkap . Until now I regreted my choice to not take up scout even with my scout teacher advice to continue scouting even if I’ll be the odd one (how in the world he knows that I don’t know). Ok being the odd one is not my interest, not in anyone interest anyway.
The first time I took the exam was when, obviously, the first year I was in scout but that ujian was only part of it only so the teacher decided to redo the whole thing two years afterward. Blame the new scout teacher from; I don’t know what school, for bringing up the idea. I still remember all of it like as if it was just yesterday…xD

I missed two scout meetings for the camping because I was away on another competition. Even then I was busy with all sort of competition especially science. By the time I came back they already sorted everyone in groups and I was left with a bunch scouts who are not chosen by the other groups, rejects in another word. Ok, deal with it I was late anyway and since I was in the first class I was unanimously voted as the leader, dang unfairness breeds everywhere.

Every group was given a colour as their group colour and not until the next day, the camping day, that I was told that we need to bring a flag representing our colour and it was like a few minutes before it all started. I was, like always frustrated how in the damn world no one briefed me about anything and straight away told me to lead. And where in the world I can find a purple, yeah my group is purple cute eh, cloth in 5 minutes! In the end I ripped my school trousers, which was dark blue and quite purplish and took a pole and tied the trousers there, it’s funny when you imagine it like you know people hanging underwear horizontally on a pole but no I took the leg part meaning only the fabrics.

Camp started, first day, cooking. Our cooking sucks and truly sucks. I think the teacher gave up on the idea of letting us cook because it was freaking horrible. My group food was as salty as sea water but it was a good effort. Few ahli were scolded by me because they weren’t cooperative and I think one of them, a girl, cried (I am bad. I miss those days) and since then all of them work under my iron fist, joke. Though I was strict but only when I want to or else I’ll be goofing around like always.

Second day, stations of exam for the ujian. I passed the entire practical exam but the theory I don’t really know. It was like taking moral paper with a pinch of sejarah. No one knows what they got for that paper; no one told us we will be taking theory paper anyways so all we did was answer it logically. But almost all of us pass ujian keahlian and some pass the ujian lencana emas. we were told that the whole process will be submitted officially to persatuan pengakap malaysia that i not sure.

lencana keris emas

Evening, trekking, I suck at making maps even the teacher laughed at what I drew haha. Then night like all camps is malam kebudayaan where we supposed to perform something around the campfire. Mine was a skit about a chef and something something and it was horrible because it was impromtu. Some group did singing while other did dancing while some did better skid that my group. but the whole night rocks. late night need to stay up to patrol due to the fact that our school is famous for its ghost haunting everytime there is camping.

Third day, was…raining? Everyone was exhausted we did a bit kawat then break camp followed by the prize giving. Despite the fact that I was leading what people would call reject group (the only group with girl also) we won every aspect except the most creative camp which went to a group with swimming pool and miniature dinosaurs in front of their camp. And the best part I won best scout haha.

Scouting rox and I regret not taking it up again in form 1…

NUMBER ONE W00T!!

2008-03-18T17:20:00.003+08:00

It feels soo bloody damn great to actually get the first place after soo long. haha im on top of the world!!!what made it even rocks is the fact that i didnt take a single tuition class whoopie~ in your face for those who bragged in front of me with their rich set of tuition classes. ok maybe not all of them some that is.

Its annoying if you're me. Without a single tuition class and has to keep up with the class who most of them learned what the teacher is teaching in class is excruciating especially when those who understand what the teacher is teaching and keep bragging beside me saying "oh tuition teacher teached this, teached that, blah blah blah" plus those who are soo bloody damn great, make noise in certain classes where i cant keep up. MANN TO THOSE I SAY IN YOUR FACE BRAGGER NOW LET ME BRAG MY PLACE FOR AWHILE WILL YA!!

except that wont happened. when you managed to prove to them, they'll hate you. they'll say 'oh you so great lorr no need tuition too smart edi no point taking one. yada yada yada' you know youre damn lucky i still have my mind intact else God knows how i'll trash you. ~~(reminiscing the time when i trashed people in primary school...)~~ world is so unfair.

Tagged

2008-03-17T21:47:00.005+08:00

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
Other than the Prophet, its...oh crap i have none

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
nope

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
Kar Wei - He'll for sure joke about how funny the coconuts sounds xD
Yee Siang & Natch - Keep me occupied with anime and manga talk

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Oh oh i wan to go to heaven xD

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Maybe become the world most powerful mann for a day then abolish all the stupid politic people

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
yeah, especially double rainbows they rox (pretend i do not understand the question haha)

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
My friends and family and my sanity

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
bank half get more money from interest then invest the rest earn more money. then spend like a nut case xD

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
maybe

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Kim:
*positive till no end
*hard working
*reliable

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
aww.. this is awfully difficult. see~
fun to talk to, does not have streotype thinking,crazy and will understand and forgive me for my occational mistakes and suddent burst.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Negative people that do nothing other than harp about how bad the whole world is

13. What is your ambition?
hmm...unrevel the secret of human mind?

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
just tell me but the right way else i'l snap at you

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
faith and memory

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
not really, unless suddenly i got money boost

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
kim - hawt xD

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
procrastination and my dumb way of screwing people life T-T

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
err...cant remember except the time i soak my cloth with my own blood. but thats not shocking not even scary. oh ya the time had nightmare. gosh i still remember every single detail though its 3 years ago.

20. If you can have one power what will you choose?
YAY stop time!! LOL!

Tagging:
1. Yee Siang
2. Kar Wei
3. Mr. Bobby
4. Natch

----------------------

Nothing beats the feeling of waking up on Monday morning after a full week of holiday to a whole lot of craps. RAWR! imagine you're going to school, with your own damn unsolved problems in your mind, then hear your father cursed a car that suddenly rushed into his line haha good way to start a day. ok then you reach school and remembered that you have lots of unsolved matters at hand that need to be done with that day, yup great way to start a week. now you go upstairs for quick Q&A and realised that you need to prepare a damn speech in just a matter of minute and make the speech in front of all the students and teachers, wow aint that just like superb.

that my dear friend is a typical day for me, so nice huh? at least my speech rox haha. I gained some good approving looks from several teachers, EST teacher the obvious one and suprisingly people do pay attention to what i said haha I AM FREAKING AWESOME. Now i need to do my lisan and deal with my lil problem. he hates me and i need to reverse what i did pronto!

till then~

YUI - Laugh Away

2008-03-15T18:06:00.004+08:00

Just finish resizing the whole space so i dont have to be bothered with picture and video size. But the whole thing seems so...ugly? maybe its the font or its just that big space made the whole thing look ugly. haiz i really love this skin beyond anything in the blog not in the mood of changing at all.

Got into another big mess that instantly spell screwed the moment i made that big eff-ing mistake. What I wrought was beyond any capable human ability to cure and that made me even more troubled. Ok now i really think i should not send that SMS even though how good my intention was. And after all that, after helping others, i got myself in trouble how ironic.

heck, who cares about that. i cannot be anymore dead than i am now anyway?
Found another YUI song to brighten up the day. Kar Wei, again, managed to download the PV even before i know about the song so evil..(he haven't listen to them tho) Just found the lyric and translation in YuiLover forum

YUI - Laugh away

Lyrics------------------------

Miagetara hikoukigumo ashita e to kieta
Boku wa soredemo zutto jitensha wo kogitsuzuketa

Noborisaka kake agaru ano sora no mukou
Itsuka oikoseru you na sonna ki ga shiteiru kara

Haguresou na get away get away
Jounetsu wo get away get away
Nogasanai you ni te wo nobashite

Chippoke na koto ni nayanjatte
Tonikaku kimi ni aitakunatta yeah

Umaretate no haru no nioi ni
Sakihokoru sakura no hanabira
Itsudatte makenai you ni nee

Sou waratte sotto waratte laugh away
Sou waratte itsumo waratte

Oka no ue iki wo kirashi machi wo mioroshita
Tabun kimi no uchi no yane kurai wa mieru hazu

Mado no sotto umi ga sugu da yo nante hanashiteta
Dakara ano basho watari onaji ma kanjiteiru

Afuresou na get away get away
Jounetsu wo get away get away
Kobosanai you ni te wo nobashite

Chippoke na koto ni nayanjatte
Tonikaku kimi ni aitakunatta yeah

Me no mae ni hirogaru keshiki wo
Wasuretewa ikenai ki ga shita
Itsudatte makenai you ni

Never mind never mind ochikondara
Yeah yeah koko ni kite kaze ni fukaretai

Chiisa na egao ga mitai kara
Boku datte tsuyoku nareru no sa yeah

Umaretate no haru no nioi ni
Sakihokoru sakura no hanabira
Itsudatte makenai you ni nee

Sou waratte itsumo waratte

Lyrics Translation-----------------------------------------

As I looked up, the streak of clouds (left behind in the trail of planes) disappeared to tomorrow
Even then, I continued to paddle on my bicycle

Yeah, climbing up the upslope, to the sky on the other side
Because I felt I could overcome that some day

As if losing my way, get away get away
Don't lose your passion/ ambition (Get away Get away)
Stretch out your arms

Worrying about the trivial things
Suddenly I felt like seeing you

The smell of fresh spring
The petals of the blossoming sakura
I will never lose to it.

Yes laugh, laugh away
Yes laugh, keep laughing

On top of the hill, I took a deep breath and looked down
I probably could only see the roof of your house

And you said the sea is just outside the windows
At that place, I could feel the same presence.

The overflowing (Get away Get away)
Don't spill your (overflowing) pasison (Get away Get away)
Strech out your arms

Worrying about the trivial things
Suddenly, I felt like seeing you

The scenery right in front of my eyes
I felt I mustn't forget it.
I will never lose to it.

Never mind Never mind
When I feel depressed and down, yeah yeah
I want to come here, and be blown by the wind

I want to see your little smile
I, too, can become stronger

The smell of the fresh Spring
The petals of the blossoming sakura
I will never lose to it

Yes, laugh. Keep laughing away

Happy da B'dae YamNee and Wei Hong~

2008-03-13T12:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the craziest and perhaps the messiest day in the whole year. Though there weren’t any 22 people parading down the road from school to CS (refer to classblog entry for Ming Keat’s B’day) but its one helluva day. Say what you want, condemned us as the stuckup students or arrogant bunch of students but SCIENCE1 studs rock the nation down!

The day started off with me stuck in school canteen for like 2 hours waiting for my koperasi’s pengerusi to show up for the SPM result day. What kind of pengerusi told us to arrive at 8 but he him self came at 10. But what made it rocks was me sitting there reading ‘Lisey’s Story’ with such a creepy atmosphere that I thought I really boomed my self to Boo’ya Moon (read the book to understand though not recommended for some).

Later about 9+ Jing Yu came and open the koperasi so that we can take our stuff and start with Kar Wei’s great idea of a prank/present (which later turned out to be loved XD). Since I’m really really bad with craft stuff it was all up to Kar Wei to do all the dirty job of putting the whole wrapping together but we all came together making strips of papers for the prank part which was damn fun haha.

The SPM result turned out to be quite good this year. Pn. Lai seems so happy about the average increase in add math marks. I heard Joanne (how ever and who ever she is) got perfect score and Mr. Heng’s daughter, Heng Yun Yun got all A1 except Chinese paper, A2 (can feel the disappointment there). We spot some interesting people that day, like Kenneth’s cool hair style (which is military cut) and black sunglasses which Kar Wei said looked like some cool Gangster.

So about 11, me and Kar Wei, after much forcing and made me leave my hair the way it was, ‘cabut’ to CS. All the 20 minutes walk to Pelangi Bus stop were filled with me telling crazy jokes to Kar Wei. But the joke of the day gotta be the one my aunty told my Mom which I told Kar Wei and Jing Yu while making the paper strips:

Me: Hey, you guys know about the Mas Selamat Kastari?

Kar Wei: The one that escape from Singapore Prison?

Me: Yeah, that dude. You know he is in Malaysia right now!

Kar Wei: Really? I dunno that. <-- Kar Wei annoying innocent reaction

Jing Yu: Really?( in Mandarin)

Me: Hontoni! When you go through the causeway from Singapore, you’ll see the damn big signboard there says: SELAMAT DATANG KE MALAYSIA! You even got an SMS about it! HAHAHAHAHA

KW&JY: zadao, LOL

We reached CS about 12+ and still need to wait about half an hour because Soo Qing and Jie Miin were late. I was told that they all want to go back at 3 because of Japanese Class (which I dun want to go when they ask me to join last year) but in the end they cancel the class for the whole day (talk about class bonding). So that made way for the girls who wanted to watch Horror movie so badly. I don’t know what movie they chose until much later. One thing I remember the most when they were buying the ticket is that suddenly I heard Heavenly Days playing. The most obvious reaction was me turned around like a mad man and saw they’re showing Koizora trailer. Mann the song was like sooooo damn nicee!!

Afterward, again we all went downstairs to the oh so lovely food court for the birthday party (for this post wait till I can find time to do it) then later the oh so boring The Death of Ian Stone movie which is not even close to scary, comical perhaps. But I heard some of them said it was, one of them watched the movie with her hands over her face. The movie was so terrible that I think I yawned twice and doze off once. Come to think of it now, it was almost like Malaysia made movie but with better graphic and camera angles.

So, after the sleep inducing movie we all decided to disperse. Me with Bobby, who after much persuasion, changed his mind about buying hard disk that day and wait for the IT show instead. And by the time we got back, after Dennis bought his Mother’s cake, it was raining shark and crocodile! But overall it was a fun day~

Till then. Oh btw: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAM NEE and WEI HONG!!

Note: wait for the b’dae post~

tagged/hols

2008-03-08T10:48:00.004+08:00

This is Natalie

She tagged me, Rawr!
She is 14 going on 15 then sky rocketing to 100 XD
She is inflicted with Yaoi

Natalie has scary obsession with Anime
She is married to thousand different characters and people
She is a song writer in the making
But I yet to hear any of her song (read them yes)

Nat is err…nuts? and fun to talk to
I love chatting with her :D

This is Bobby

He is Peking/Roasted Duck in the making
He is 2x going on 2x
He has some issues with people knowing his age

Bobby has a serious obsession with money
He is currently living in what left of a wreaked emo world
He indulge himself in mild Kimberley-sm
He is on hunt for his lovelies

Bobby is moi teacher and moi fowl brother
I will really really love him after he buys me Maximum Ride book 4 (joke XD)

This is Kar Wei

Kar Wei in the middle. Sorry cant find a nice picture of you

He is 16 going on 170
He is a human blizzard
His jokes can turn the room temperature to subzero

Kar Wei loves positivity
He is my hitting shoulder (since crying not my thing)
He has some issues with secrecy
He can never hide anything from me anymore (*evil grin*)

Kar Wei is a yaoi in the making
He loves his juniors a lot
He scares me when he is down
But his smile (and jokes) cures all

Kawai RoX!

This is Yek Guo

He is 16 going on 16½ if he started having ‘it’ again
He is a ~~physician~~ physicist and neurologist in the making
Sometimes he drives me up the wall with his theories

Yek Guo is the exact opposite of Kar Wei
He stops being negative in front of me (others I dunno)
He is my brain tumour doctor
And I am his after his documentaries T-T

Yek Guo seriously thinks he is Japanese
Let’s go to Japan together one day :)

There are more people i want to write about but no time already. Wanna go to Singapore, wee~ books here I come. Oh oh, im not trying to make them rhymes. I suck at rhymes and stop trying to make one already.
And I tag Kar Wei, Bobby, Yek Guo (I’ll force you to make one in the class blog), Kim and Yam Nee. Choose 2 of your closest lovelies and describe them, you can of course do more. Picture is not compulsory (none of my picture is preferable) Go ahead wreak some havoc XD

Note: those who want to change their picture post the link in the tagboard. And those who shrewdly got my picture with you don’t you dare post it.

Fly Fly Fly~

2008-03-05T15:32:00.005+08:00

This post is the result of excessive dose of MaximumRide

Ever thought that you can fly? Without a freaking DNA recombinant enhancement that is. Well this and this ride can really, and i mean really, make up for it.
Maybe except feeling the wind against your wings cause obviously you don't have one.

Cant wait for the 4th book

kinda sucky cover heck who cares
synopsis here
wonder when will it be out here

random post

2008-03-01T17:02:00.003+08:00

i felt so bad today that i dont think i am able to post anything that happened today without angering or making people raise their eyebrow.

dang it hurts..(and that obviously an understatement)

ah, my bro just bought a scanner. the same one as kar wei's except his is white and kar wei's black.

with the scanner i guess i can post more picture here
that means more picture for minami if and only if i have the time for it
no promise

till then~

Friends are not trophies but..COOKIES?!

2008-02-23T21:13:00.004+08:00

Something might have screwed up in my brain that all the sudden I’m having infinite burst of crappy ideas. No not the *ehmm disgusting ones but something like what Yek Guo might be having: engine, engine rows of engines. Except that compared to Yek Guo who seems to think of certain impossibility moi thought filled with, like stated before, craps which seems to think it that smell funny (craps do think eh?)

Note: read with you mind intact or else you wont understand a thing.

I think you’ve heard the: Friends are not trophies yada yada stuff. Well how in the world you treat friends like trophy? Well…first you win them, then after finish gloating about them you put them in your display cupboard, once in a while you polish them then finally you let them collect dust. Okay simple, follow the above step and you can pass the test XD. But then now I’m thinking why not treat them like cookies instead because well cookies are so scrumptiously delicious!

Unlike trophy, who in the right mind wants to let the hot steaming, mouth watering cookies to collect dust ritee? Before long you will be munching them at the speed of light savouring their heavenly flavours leaving only the crumbs to be collected (bad pun I know). Furthermore, you can make all these cookies by your self with your own effort and strength and savour it when it’s done even if it’s a bit burnt.

But then you ask: I can just buy them why in the world I want to bake one anyway? Like friends those you make are more sweet and lasting compared to those that you buy. Furthermore, newly baked cookies are always da bomb! You can never ever taste the same one if you buy any cookies from supermarket.

Aint they look delicious?

Cookies also can portrait the world of friendship in a very ‘delicious’ way.For example like above; newly baked cookies are da bomb! You can taste the aromatic smell of the barter and if there is chocolates (LET THERE BE CHOCOLATES!!) then the smell of melting chocolate. Eating them will be like taking free space travel with Virgin Airlines ahh.. blissful.

Not all cookies taste the same though. Some are tasteless so they need some flavour on top of it. Some are burnt so you need to improvise and take the ‘un-burnt’ part or in certain cases you need to throw them away. Some of it works better if you dunk them in milk while some you can just eat it like that. Some are waayyy to sweet so you need to take something else afterward while some are wayyy to addictive so you need to keep them away after awhile (talk about dieting XD). get the connection with friends your self

dunk a milk in a cookie.. whoops :P

But in nature all cookies are delicious. It’s just how you eat it and how you savour the taste in your mouth is important. Good food is always those that you chew properly savouring every single bite and taste that come out of it. Even if it’s a 5* cookies if you just munch them down in a single bite you can’t taste a thing. Well maybe a bit when you throw up (serve you rite muahahahaha).

In case you ask, why is it cookies when you can finish them in a short while? The answer is there is nothing in material can last forever. Cookie like life will someday be gone in this case eaten. But even when it’s eaten, if you know how to eat them properly, the taste will linger in you mouth and memory for eternity. Just like a friend, if you know how to treat them and cherish them properly they'll stay with you for eternity be it in body or soul. A friend is like a jar of cookie be it sweet, bitter or sour if you know how to savour them they’re always nice.

Now you can shout CRAPP!!!

Ultimate Cuteness

2008-02-19T21:07:00.008+08:00

You cant help but to shout 'CUTE!!!!' when you see these two vids:

The Art of Consoling

2008-02-18T21:33:00.002+08:00

I know I am bad at consoling people when they are having problems
In fact, each time i got my self into such situation i honestly told them that i cant give them much of help. and each time i did that i felt very and i mean very bad.
Why is it so difficult for me to console others? Maybe its the fact that i never in my life been consoled or just because i'm bad in human interaction.
so anyway i told yam nee exactly that when she was talking about how bad her music talent is here is the conversation:
(editted and cancelled almost all the 'haha's)

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
oh im bad at consoling ppl

wennee says:
nvr mind. u nid nt console me haha. i m all rite

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
im bad at it anyway

wennee says:
try to improve

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
looking for ways. I’ve been trying to console 2 person but all failed I’m so bad

wennee says:
let me teach u then u teach me eng

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
sure. so sifu teach me

wennee says:
tu di. u noe wat is tu di?

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
nope

wennee says:
when u want to console someone tu di means like discipline when u want to console someone, treat their issue as urs. u can ask them like: wat happened then or he / she ver bad le

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
sounds like very 38 like that

wennee says:
dun b like dat la. No. i alswz console kim n warn ling like dat

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
and i dun like saying other ppl bad

wennee says:
erm

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
thats y im bad at consoling

wennee says:
you r reall bad. i mean in consoling. that’s is wat i alwz do or else I will ask that person nt to think too much

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
i know thats what ppl tell me also

wennee says:
b optimistic. dun take it to heart

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
oh sifu im blur

wennee says:
blurred in wat?

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
this consoling business

wennee says:
i thk u no nid to console others since u r HOPELESS. Haha. kidding

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
waa sifu say im hopeless *kabish*

wennee says:
nola, its like dat. there will b ppl that dun reall noes hw to comfort others its ok wat?

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
no its not ok

wennee says:
erm.. i gv an example. if tat person is having problem in theirs luv life, u cannot comfort dem just lend ur ears to them. listening to them also nt bad

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
oh i know just say 'then what happened' or 'how you feel now' stuff like that. half way doing that i already feel very 38

wennee says:
den u dun comfort others. do the thing that u like

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
T-T

wennee says:
lend them ur ears. they tell u then u listen. i ask u, y u feel 38 when asking those questions? very common wat

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
dunno. to me its like not common. like prying into ppl stuff. not healthy

wennee says:
i think its alrite. if the pendam their feeling all the time they will b even worst sometimes u nid to b more38, like me XD

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
maybe i dont like asking those question because i dont like ppl ask me those questions

wennee says:
oh

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
if i dont like something i dont do to ppl thats for sure

wennee says:
i failed to b ur sifu. i FAILED! u r U

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
I am ME i ROCK~ oh yeah~ oh yeah~

wennee says:
den remain the wa u want urself to b like. u rawk. haha

òńē đêàđ čĥīćķēń says:
ok i think i should change be more 38 for sometime XD

See even yamnee give up on me in the end. Oh im hopeless....
but at least now i know where's my problem lies.
*add new resolution: BE MORE 38* XD

Maal Hijrah event coverage

2008-02-17T07:36:00.004+08:00

Fieww...what a hell last week was. I cant believe im still here out and about when it was just 2 days ago when i seriously thinking of killing my self (just about few seconds dun worry im not that stupid XD). Wahaha and now when its over all of it seemed stupid and even pointless. To hell with it, to quote Katherine: Regrets are a waste of time, they are your past crippling your present.

Went to the Maal Hijrah program yesterday and wow its one terribly tired day. For those who didnt know, Maal Hijrah is the celebration of the new year in Hijrah Calender and also historically the emmigration of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W from the Makkah to Madinah (go read your sejarah book for more info).

For reasons unknown teachers just simply love to throw task at me like im some sort of wishing well. wait thats not right..Like im a vending machine where they could insert task in my mouth and pop your canned drinks popped out of my...oh forget about it. So anyway I'm stuck doing PA with 3 malays that luckily know im pissed and shut their mouth. thats one good thing about malays they're one good fella when they have one crazy people leading them. At least thats how i see them as, wonder if its just because im a malay my self because i hate leading others other than my own race its freaking difficult to get their approval.

The day started with one bloody swarm of mosquitoes attacking me in every direction early 7 o'clock in the morning. Damn those things are really sucker, pardon the pun, and they're one stealth hunters unlike the ones at home. Compared to the ones in the PA the mosquitoes at home are PWN-ed big time. These stealth vampires dont even sound an alarm in the nerve system! if i dont see funny funny stuff on my hand i bet they suck my blood dry already, wait i wonder if they got inside my hair, NOOOOO!!!

Setting the PA wasnt a big deal since im a self elected PA boy when im was in form 2. ooh the good memories XD. but i really see the difference in the PA room. Compared to my time it was a heck lot cleaner and neater, now it seemed more like a wrecked room, slightly better compared to my room when Mom went to Singapore for 3-4 days straight. but not my bed of course cause mine is convertable, you just push them under the bed XD.

The event started off with the prayers then the cute MC's wrong speech. I cant belive Mr. Wafi, the MC, is 26 years old! to me he looked like no more than 18 and he does act like one. but after that one mistake and my liiittttllle advice to him (wahaha im bragging XD) the whole MC event went smoothly after. Later there was nasyid (an Islamic-oriented song) and Busana Muslimah (a muslimah(girl version of muslim) fasion show) which was if im out there turn out to be hillarious. Mr. Wafi went to his childish element giving out off the wall spontaneous comments on each design from designed by first class designer to getting them from Paris XD too bad i missed that event.

One thing i could say about the event was its very disorganised. I can do a better job compared to it *smirk* with good people that is. Almost all of the neccesity for an event were forgotten or late. If i hadnt been to lots of it with my cousins i might say that it was alright but moi is one nutsy perfectionist that wont leave matters for God knows who to do it. And then was when i start sprinting here and there fetching stuff (and breaking stuff, clumsy me) and looking like one geeky waiter pouring water for the VIP (when it should be the teachers job, curse them) the bad thing was I missed the highlight of the event while doing all that. Wish the teacher got a really good vid of the whole thing cause from the way i see it he didnt.

Too bad no picture for you to see and for me to toy with. T-T i wan a camera...

--------------------------------------------
for Minami. As promised i colour one of them for you =)

art: minami aka ikki
colour: me (however awful it is)
background: windows? XD

post valentine

2008-02-16T05:52:00.003+08:00

w00t is valentine's day!!(okayy its post valentine)
Not that i could celebrate it after the JAIJ (and JAIM) banned the celebration of valentine's for all muslim.
I dont think its neccessary to talk lengthy about the reasons. cause you can get them everywhere and anywhere.
But it does not mean i could soak my self in the excitement rite? XD after all they are celebrating around me i might just as well have fun (within the boundries of course).
The class could not turn any down that it was on that day.
Everyone seem to be thinking about having a date (or so i saw them like that =P)
Something did happened tho but i think its not a good thing to post about it (since yee siang didnt want to post about it also)
but i pity him..aww i want it

nat text-ed me and we had one long talk about everything.
if there is one person i love talking to it would be her cause there will hardly be a boring moment since she keep giving out eccentric ideas and im happily throwing summore at her XD
seriously if i didnt stop we hardly stop talking. (once we text each other till almost 3 in the morning haha)
a week of IM-ing with her last cny hols really turn my depression around (not away, too bad)and she kept me alive for the whole hol cause i dont have a book to help me do that for me (return moi books back). My crazy day maker thats what she would be.
and she did made my day last valentine!

life couldnt serve me any better than it is
though i just had the worst day of life (for now) yesterday, but yeah my life goes even tho i hate it soo much.
im just hoping i wont wade through it alone.

moitryingtobeachikenandacow

p/s: i know the post sounds like a crazy primary 6's standard essay. bear with me. I was just about to throw my self in a busy road yesterday

p/p/s: i hate being happy it will just make me more depressed

RAWR~MOO~

2008-02-10T15:03:00.000+08:00

woit i cant believe i post in the class blog more than i post in my own blog!!
i might as well make the class blog my own anyway and ditch this blog
but wait, that blog cant put YUI picture and of course cannot have any vulgarities (not that it means this blog have)
and sommore that blog is well.. elmo. minus the L you get EMO cursed word in this blog.
cant have any of those here it'll ruin everything

just for the record thats why i have so many vids and lyrics lately because i cant seems to think anything un-emo.
give me a dose of kimberlism (or kimberley-sm) maybe i'll be better then.
wait i already took some dose of emo-be-gone serum for the past 3 days and i think im feeling way better XD
be gone ~~elmo~~ emo *pssst'...may life treat you better (or death for that matters XD)

so anyways i've been helping mr. bob (a teensy weensy bit) with his blog which if i may turn out to be 'quite' nice.
(with shawn kind of tome)OK! ALRIGHT! i kinda not into his layout. its nice all that but thats just not me. because what's me are: Purple and YUI!!!and rei fu =D
ok now im officially reliving moo-chan's days. beware cause i rawr! wait i suppose to moo, MOO~

while you're reading this go buffer some songs in my blog and listen to them, then visit the ClassBlog and read my post.

seriously, im starting to think that i need to stop posting there i start posting here

moiisonedeadchicken

Koko ni iru yo(i'm by your side) - Soulja

2008-02-07T15:26:00.000+08:00

Its like hearing to Akon in Japanese. Nice song i say. Somehow i cant stop playing this song in my com its soo nice =D (minus the emo that is). I kinda can reflect my self in the lyric but i'm worst than this guy T-T

Lyrics--------------------------------------------

*Baby boy, watashi wa koko ni iru yo, doko mo ikazu ni matteru yo
You know dat I love you dakara koso, shinpai shinakute ii n da yo
donna ni tooku ni ite mo kawaranai yo, kono kokoro
iitai koto wakaru desho?
anata no koto matteru yo (matteru yo)

bukiyou na ore, tooku ni iru kimi
tsutaetai kimochi sono mama iezuni, kimi wa icchimatta
ima ja nokosareta kimi wa ARUBAMU no naka
denpa de shika aenai hibi, takedo mienai ze kimi no hohoemi
kimi no nukumori kami no kaori, kono nodo no kawaki wa sono mama mitasarezu ni
sugiteku hibi no naka nanda ka kimi no omokake hitasura sagashita
kimi to yoku aruita ano michi wa, ima ore dake no ashioto ga hibiteita
n na koto yori omae no hou wa genki ka? chanto meshi kutteru ka?
chikushou, yappa ie nee ya
mata kondo okuru yo, ore kara no Letter

*repeat

kamakura no sunahama de mita kimi no sugata, nami ni nomareta kimi ni iitai kotoba
nandaka MAJI setsu ne~ otoko na no ni nande...kotoba deteko ne~ ya
oboetemasu ka? kimi to itta KARAOKE no naka
ore ga irareta kyoku no kotoba MONITA- ikanda mama
honto wa kimi ni tsutaeta katta
kimi to futari kiri de hajimete machiawase wo shita ano hi
arude guuzen ni attaka no you ni hashagi
hohoemu kimi ga wasurerarenai tte
hanashi kanari sore chimatta ga wakaru yo na? ore ga iitai kotoba
Shit nokori kaku basho ga nee ya
gomen, tsugi wa zettai ni okuru kara

*repeat

ore ga motto kanemochi dattara, motto matomo na shigoto wo shite tara
moshimo subete gisei ni dekita no nara, ore wa zettai ni kimi wo...
da ga Please kanchigai dake wa sunna, kimi ni sabishii omoi wa sasetaku ne~ ga
isogashii naka anma hanase ne~ ga
baby believe kore wa all for our future
But shoujiki, ima sugu kimi to aitai, ima sugu dakishimete yaritai
mukashi, kimi ga ore no tonari de suwatteta seki ni wa, mou daremo inai tte...
ma~, sonna koto wa ii n da, iitai koto wa sonna n ja ne~ nda
imasara da ga, zutto iitakatta kotoba wo kome okuru Unsent letter

Baby girl, watashi was koko ni iru yo, doko mo ikazu ni matteru yo
You know dat I love you dakara koso, shinpai shinakute ii n da yo
donna ni tooku ni ite mo kawaranai yo, kono kokoro
iitai koto wakaru desho?
anata no koto matteru yo

Baby boy, watashi wa koko ni iru yo, doko mo ikazu ni matteru yo
You know I love you dakara koso, shinpai shinakute ii n da yo
donna ni tooku ni ite mo kawaranai yo, kono kokoro
ima nara sunao ni ieru yo
I don't eva wanna let you go

02 I'm by your side

*Baby boy, I'll be here waiting for you, I'm not going no where
You know dat I love you, and that's why it's all good, you ain't gotta worry
My feelings won't change no matter how far you are away
You feel what I'm tryin' to say?
I'll be waiting for you (waiting for you)

I'm all out of whack (awkward) cuz you are far away
You left and I didn't get to tell you how I felt
So now, all I'm left with is (pictures of) you in a photo album
These days the only way we meet up is through the radio, but I can't see your smile (1)
I can't get enough of your warmth, the smell of your hair (2)
so as the days went by, I did nothing but search for traces of you
I walked down the road that we walked together all the time, but now I could only hear my footsteps
But, how have you been since you went your own way? Are you eating right?
Damn, I knew I couldn't say it
Maybe I'll just send it to you in a letter next time

*repeat

I saw you on the sandy beaches in Kamakura and the words I wanted to say to you were swallowed up in the waves
I really don't know why this is so hard, though I'm a man... the words won't come out
Do you remember? When we went to karaoke,
I really wanted to tell you how I felt as the words to the song
floated across the monitor
That day when I was alone with you for the first time
We were happy, like we were meeting by mere chance
Your smile was unforgettable
I've said quite alot, but you understand what I'm sayin' right? I wanna say the words
Shit, I ran out of room to write
Sorry, I'll definitely tell you next time

*repeat

If I had more money and if I had a more respectable job,
If I could sacrifice everything, I'd definitely do it for you...
But please, don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to make you feel lonely
While I was busy, we couldn't talk much
But baby believe, I'm doing this all for our future
But truth is, I wanna see you right now and hold you close
You used to sit in the seat next to me, now it's empty
Well, these are not exactly the things I wanted to say to you
I know it's a little late, but I'll put the words I've wanted to say the whole time and send my Unsent Letter

Baby girl, I'm by your side, I'm not going no where
You know dat I love you, and that's why it's all good, you ain't gotta worry
My feelings won't change no matter how far you are away
You feel what I'm tryin' to say?
I'll be waiting for you (waiting for you)

Baby boy, I'm by your side, I'm not going no where
You know dat I love you, and that's why it's all good, you ain't gotta worry
My feelings won't change no matter how far you are away
And now I'm not afraid to say it
I don't eva wanna let you go

Sophie

2008-02-06T10:50:00.000+08:00

call this a self mental therapy(for me).
the girl has no name what so ever but for now i name her Sophie after the name of my character in my short story(which was halted)
no bashing or name guessing(especially from the emo-ist)
and oh, no point ripping eh?

Pic by: me
Background by: Hawaron(opps i ripped his)

Namidairo - YUI

2008-02-03T16:50:00.000+08:00

w00t!! Namidairo PV finally out!!! You gotta love the song. Its soo sad but beautiful and kinda emo, okay it is an emo song haha. But the song (and pv) is soo beautiful it defeats all other reason. and YUI IS SOO CUTE XD
sorry need to resize the vid to fit

Lyrics

YUI-Namidairo

Romaji=======================================

Kirawareteiru you na ki ga shiteta kaerimichi
Miageta heya no akari ima donna kimochi de iru no darou?

Kenka ni nareba sugu ayamaru yowakute anata wa zurui hito

Namidairo koe ga kikoenai yoru wa
Komarasete shimau hodo wagamama ni naritai
Daijoubu sou itte mita kedo
Sonna hazu nai desho…

Mizu tamari ni utsuru kanashii kao minareteiru
Muri iwanai tsumori wakatteru kara kurushiku naru no

Yasashiku sareru to naketekuru yappari anata wa zurui hito

Namidairo koe ga kikoenai yoru wa
Komarasete shimau hodo wagamama ni naritai
Daijoubu sou itte mita kedo
Sonna hazu nai desho…

Anata no mae ja uso tsuki yo
Kizuite hoshii to omotteiru no
Sonna ni tsuyoi wake ja nai kara ne atashi

Namida kobosanai kimeteita no ni
Komarasete shimau yo ne? wagamama ni narenai

Daijoubu? Nante mata kiku kedo
Sonna hazu nai desho…

Translation===================================

Getting a feeling that I'm being disliked.. on the way home
Looking up at the brightness of the room
I wonder what kind of feelings I'm experiencing now

When we get into a fight I apologise immediately
I'm weak, and you are such a sly person

During nights when my tear-stained voice cannot be heard
I want to become wilful even if it means being a nuisance
Tried to say I'm alright but
That's not possible isn't it

I’m accustomed to seeing my sorrowful face reflected in the puddle
Because I'm fully aware of my intention not to say that I give up/in… I become hurt

Whenever I'm treated gently by you I will feel like crying, you’re really such a sly person afterall

During nights when my tear-stained voice cannot be heard
I want to become wilful even if it means being a nuisance
Tried to say I'm alright but
That's not possible isn't it

In front of you I’m such a liar you know
Kept thinking “I hope that you would realise this”
Because I’m not in the least that strong at all

Despite already deciding not to allow my tears to fall
I'm troubling you ain't I? I just can’t be wilful

Once again I asked myself if I was alright but
That’s not possible isn’t it

im so not emo, am i?

RADWIMPS - Order Made

2008-02-01T22:08:00.000+08:00

I dont think i want to post on kimberlism now. had a very bad day, my pendrive trojan infected, my shortstory and class vids gone, my class board screwed up, the drama competition didnt get any responds and i snapped at my friends that had absolutely nothing to do with all of this its all because he said the wrong thing at the wrong time
i'm supposed to smile and pretend that i'm feeling alritee.

Im really really really sorry.

Now the teachers know that i have a very bad temper (not that they dunno it really).
how difficult it is for me to fulfil my resolution?

Anyway I found a very nice song yesterday. its 95% jpop and 5% jrock and has a very meaningful lyric.

Lyric

Romaji------------
kitto boku wa tazune rare tan darou
umareru mae doko ka no dareka ni
"mirai to kako dochira ka hitotsu wo
mireru you ni shi te ageru kara sa
docchi ga ii?"

soshite boku wa kako wo eran dan darou
tsuyoi hito yori yasashii hito ni
nareru you ni nare masu you ni to
"omoide" tte nandaka wakaru you ni

tsuduke te dareka san wa boku ni iu
"ude mo ashi mo kuchi mo mimi mo me mo
shinzou mo oppai mo hana no ana mo
futatsu zutsu tsuke te ageru kara ne
ii deshou?"

dakedo boku wa onegai shitan dayo
"kuchi wa hitotsu dake de ii desu" to
boku ga hitori de kenka shi nai you ni
hitori to dake kisu ga dekiru you ni

wasure tai demo wasure nai
konna omoi wo nanto yobu no kai

sukoshi fukigen na kao no sono hito wa
mata shikata naku hanashi hajime ta
"ichiban daiji na shinzou wa sa
ryou mune ni tsuke te ageru kara ne
ii deshou?"

mata mata boku wa onegai shitanda
"osoreiri masu ga kono boku ni wa
migigawa no shinzou wa irimasen
wagamama bakari itte suimasen"

boku ni taisetsu na hito ga deki te
sono ko dakishimeru toki hajimete
futatsu no kodou ga chanto mune no
ryougawa de naru no ga wakaru you ni

hidari wa boku node migi wa kimi no
hidari wa kimi node migi wa boku no
hitori ja doko ka kake teru you ni
hitori de nado ikite kanai you ni

wasure tai demo wasure nai
konna omoi wo nanto yobu no kai

mune ga sawagashii demo natsukashii
konna omoi wo nanto yobu no kai

"sou ie ba saigo ni mou hitotsu dake
'namida' mo opushon de tsukeyou ka ?
naku te mo zenzen shishou wa nai kedo
mendou da karatte tsuke nai hito mo iru yo
dou suru?"

soshite boku wa onegai shitan dayo
tsuyoi hito yori yasashii hito ni
nareru you ni nare masu you ni to
'taisetsu' tte nandaka wakaru you ni

"jaa chinamini namida no aji da kedomo
kimi no suki na aji wo eran de yo
suppaku shi tari shoppaku shi tari
tsuraku shi tari amaku shi tari
dore demo suki na no wo eran de yo
dore ga ii?"

"nozomi doori subete ga
kanae rare te iru deshou?
dakara namida ni kureru
sono kao wo chanto mise te yo
sa? hokorashige ni mise te yo"

"hontoni arigatou gozai mashi ta
iroiro to otekazu o kake mashi ta
saigo ni hitotsu dake ii desu ka?

dokka de o ai shi ta koto ari masu ka ?"

English-------------------------------------------------------

I think I must have been asked this once.
Before I was born, by someone, somewhere.
"Choose one: the past, or the future,
And I will allow you to see it.
Which will it be?
Which will it be?"

And I probably decided on the past.
So that, rather than just strong, I could become kind, become kind.
So that I could understand what memories are.

Next, that 'somebody' told me this.
"I'll give you arms and legs and mouths and ears and eyes,
Hearts and breasts and nostrils.
I'll give you two of each one.
Isn't that great?
Isn't that great?"

But then I made a request.
I said, I'd be fine with just one mouth.
So I wouldn't argue with myself;
So I could only kiss one person.

I want to forget.
But somehow, I can't.
What do you call this kind of feeling?

Looking a little disappointed,
The person continued with his explanation.
"The hearts are most important,
So I'll put one behind each of your breasts.
Isn't that great?
Isn't that great?"

But, once more, I had a request to make.
I'm awfully sorry, but to be honest,
I really don't need a heart on the right.
Sorry to keep troubling you like this.

It's so that when I find that one special person,
And hold her close to me for the first time,
Only then will I finally be able to feel
Two hearts beating, one on each side.

The left one mine, the right, yours.
The left one yours, the right, mine.
So that alone, I'll always be lacking something.
So that I won't be able to just go on living alone.

I want to forget.
But somehow, I can't.
What do you call this kind of feeling?

My chest is pounding,
Yet somehow it seems familiar.
What do you call this kind of feeling?

"Ah, that reminds me, there's one last thing.
Would you like us to add in tears as well?
You'd have no problems without them,
But some people find them annoying, so they opt out.
What would you like?
What would you like?"

In the end, I asked him to add them in.
So that, rather than just strong, I could become kind, become kind.
So I could understand what it means to hold something dear.

"Oh, while we're at it, the tears will need a flavour.
So I'd just like you to choose which one you'd prefer.
We have sour, salty, spicy, sweet.
You can choose whichever you like.
Which will you have?
Which will you have?"

Everything was put together just as requested,
So wipe those tears away and let me see your face.
Come on, show it to me with pride.

Thank you so much for everything.
Sorry to have caused you so much trouble.
But could I just ask one last thing?
"Have we met somewhere before?"

Post, post, post, again

2008-01-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

Okay, right I haven’t been posting for 11 days thanks for reminding me. I’m not in the position of posting these past few days because I was bedridden for almost a week, well I can’t actually say toilet-ridden can I?, which literally translated could be I ride the toilet (yee haa giddyup!!). If you want to say that I look absolutely fine at school then I’ll reply by saying ‘why thank you’.

Actually I almost wish that I could be hospitalised, not exaggerating if you’re numb waist down and dozing off almost every second. Not because I could not tahan any more, which is quite true if not because I could sleep almost instantly everyday, but because I’m honestly bored the heck out of me and I want to find something new. Wonder what I can do in a hospital, exploring around at night, hearing all those eerie sounds and stalking scary doctors well those can get me going and perhaps haunt me for years.

I’m not posting also because I’m not in the right mental state to do so and I don’t want to make another post with the word emo all over the place cause I’m not emo. I’m sick that’s a fact but I’m the one who made my self sick because I’m sick of everything. It seems that I can’t stand human being anymore that I want to some how kill everyone and create a new breed of human being, but that is not possible isn’t it? Now that I’m posting one, I bet you’re thinking that ‘I think he is fine already’ don’t even think about it because I’m just slightly better than before.

I have to admit that I have quite a lot of things to blog on before but haha all of it seems to slip my mind now. Ohoh, just changed the layout after I told kimmy that I want to change so badly. The last one was so badly done that I can’t believe I thought it was the best I could do back then. Guess what compared to the previous one which took almost a month to complete, I finished the new one in less than two hours and it looks pretty okay, plain maybe but it’s PURPLE!

Haiz, been posting short post for so long that I missed writing long long post. Wait, I think I could write one long post about one topic that’s on my mind this morning. Let me give you a clue about it: it’s a term coined by Mr. Bobby start with k end with m and have the almost same name as a ketchup name. Next post then. till then: research...

Of Butterflies - a short story

2008-01-20T11:31:00.000+08:00

Sometime ago I wonder how some author could remember their childhood and picture them in perfect words describing every single thing they saw, every single thing they heard and every single thing they felt. Sometime ago I cursed my self for my incapability to hold something in memory long enough for me to cherish them and how I hate people who could do exactly that without so much of an effort.

Human brain is so complex that the moment you thought you have unlocked its mystery it creates a new one and another with double the difficulty each time, just like a mystery novel.

I don’t think that it’s necessary for me to wonder or to curse anymore because now I know, or rather now I understand that every human has the same capability as every other human with nothing more or less in everyone, just the difference in the capability of exerting its full potential. Even that I understand that it’s necessary for everyone to have different potential so that each and everyone will complete each
other in this ever so tiring race of life.

Now I think it’s foolish of me to reason God’s creation. How he gives something more in somebody and less in other is just his way of showing his Might and that he is the All-knowing. I know now because now I know how the author could do that and why I didn’t have the same capability as other.

Now that I accidentally written my childhood in a not-yet-complete short story, I understand it because memory is like a chain, as it was portrait in ‘Kingdom Heart: Chains of Memories’ and I know my memory works just like that. When I pull one end of it every links of memory fitted unto it will tell its story and every story made me remember the end of every other memory buried in me.

‘Of Butterflies – a short story,’ that’s what I’ll name it. It contains most of the memories I had during my childhood with some fictions to connect each and every chains together.

Tagged by kimmy

2008-01-19T17:28:00.000+08:00

Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she had been tag. Whoever did the tag will have blessing from all.You must link to the one who tag you, then spread it to 8 people, let the game go on, return the tag to sender is prohibited.

1. What is your dream when during your childhood?
~ well once I thought of being a kung fu master, the an artist but I throw my drawing away when everyone mocked me, after that a scientist specificly inventor but it doesn’t last long cause…it’s a long-long story, then a pharmacist cause I’m afraid of blood but want to work in medical field and now im debating whether to take pharmacy course or psychology.

2. You like rainy day or sunny day? Why?
~ rainy~! Simply love the way water trickle down my face and the soothing sound it made on my roof.

3. Which colour you like most? Black or White?
~ err…both plus grey

4. If you've chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
~ I wish we would be like we were

5. Where is the place you wanted to go most? Why?
~ forest. I feel complete there.

6. Which part of you that you hate most?
~ thinking ahead too much, people don’t really understand me and my crowd fear.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
~ write, write, write, write and read then sleep

8. What are you scares to lose the most?
~ the ones around me

9. List out 3 good points of the one who tag you.
~ Cheerful, reliable and hardworking

10. What are the requirements that you wish for your another half?
~ complete the other half of my life

11. Till now, what is the moment that you regret most?
~ I didn’t take a year leap when I pass my PTS

12. Which type of person you hate most?
~ Self hating, Ignorance b*****d

13. What is your ambition?
~ hmm…make sure I’m not gila before I am

14.What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad.
~ well I dunno honestly

15. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
~ I could live my old life

16. Who would you want to spend your last day with?
~ the ones I cherish

17. What do you think that is most important in your life?
~ God, sanity and friends

18. Who's your favourite cartoon character?
~ Nell!!! And Suzumiya Haruhi!!

19. What will you do if the world ends tomorrow?
~ I don’t wish to see the next day. Not after I know what will happen on that day

20. What you wish to happen to you the most?
~ bang my head and become half savant haha

the ones i tagged:
1. yee-chan!!(yee siang)
2. Kawaii-Chan

GoodBye 2007

2007-12-31T22:59:00.000+08:00

Wow its the end of the year already and i thought it was just yesterday that woke up thinking that i might as well lose my mind this year, which what exactly happened to me this year. The last time i went through such strenuous moment was when im taking my UPSR but that last for half a year while this time, well, if its not the whole year then most of the year.

I guess it must be the stress of going through most of life alone. yes alone, i never told anyone that deep inside i reside in my own world void of any human being way beyond the reach of anyone. But i wrote lots of times of how i tried to reach out and grab those hands that at times manage to break through only to see they shied away the moment i manage to touch it, why?

Questions such as those arent for me to answer not even for me to look for. Maybe its my repulsive, desperate ways of trying to reach out and escape from my own abyss or my self imposed barrier, the so called shield, that eventually people see as selfish and arrogant, that i shall never know.

People just dont see what i want them to see. I'm different and im trying so hard to be the same because no matter how i tried to be myself its useless no ever understand. But eventually i cant even remember who i was any longer and tried to be the clown, the pantomimer that tried xo hard to fit in only to be kicked out.

Im done with this year. I left too many memories behind and craved too many scars to remember. I still keep my resolution, not that i dont want to fulfill it but its not the time yet it will be soon, i know im getting closer to my goal with every moment i spent. And because of that i cant hope for a better year next year, be it a lucky 8 year, because if i dont lose my mind next year most probably im losing myself. but better hope for a less stressful year ahead not that it matters.

So Goodbye '07, you've been great at the attempt to kill me hopefully your successors manage to do it, i cant wait..

30 minutes to midnight 30 minutes to '08

what i've done?

2007-12-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

simply.what i've done so far is null.nothing at all to tell the truth.

i failed to do what i supposed to do during the hols (the important stuff that is)

i failed to finished what i've started since last year (though i managed to make SOME not-so-significant steps)

i failed to keep up with everything (maybe except staying within my safe zone)

i cant find time to improve my weaknesses (properly and entirely)

and worst of all i need to start from square one ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

damn it!

now im starting on my physics and bio and keep revising add math that is enough to deprive me from my sleep (especially after whole night of physics and add math which what i just did few hours ago). sometimes me and number can be simplified like a broken marriage which divorce can never be an option.

hols never been so nice to me ever. the fact that this year is better than the last is actually quite comforting IF i dont check whats in my wallet. wish money can just grow on trees then i could just plant them of 'em and start money plantation

product of a 10 minutes work

oh what the hell, im so done with my reverie.

-^^-

2007-12-05T10:00:00.000+08:00

after years of searching and weeks of pondering(funny but true) finally i could find a book i could call my own. book that i can read again and again without a tint of boredom in it. book that give me answer to my questions.

Stupid really. i've been trying all the ones that a lot of people considered theirs from the falling leaves to mocking bird all to me feels just like any other book(no offence). maybe perhaps it doesnt tell something that i need to know and keep the story around the border of it. but the Kite Runner really appeals to me as it told me what it means to be myself.

Funny how this book appeared the time when im feeling confused and frustrated the most. to stack it all im down with diarrhoea and fever plus headache and nausea. like the cliche: "things just know how to fit itself", this book just really fit into the empty spot waiting to be filled.

ahh..rantin again. nvm i wont post that lots anyway lately time pressing and internet, once again, is just internet. i cant believe it took me a month to make it all seems stupid.

i wish i could ask her...

Hitman REBORN!(opps thats manga title =P)

2007-11-27T19:56:00.000+08:00

Went out to watch this movie today. Its was a hell lot of fun cancel of the long waiting but it was worth it in the end(really?). Yek Guo vaguely telling me what he's planing to do today more like he didnt tell me anything watsoever. all he said he want to go out and watch the movie with angelina jolie(?) staring which i cant recall the name. but Hitman, the movie from the game Hitman(duh), was quite okay.

Rated 18 i dunno how yamnee's brother or how WE could get in at all since all of us are 16 but i dont think the cinema cares at all. i think when you get into their employees room you can see a big striking banner read "MONEY FIRST, RATING LATER". nice huh or to quote mr.krab "Money is always Right!".

The movie was fairly okay except for the bad censorship and stiff protagonist acting the whole thing was..okay. the shooting part was quite nice though its like the same thing from any other assassin movie in store not much of a difference but you gotta admire the cars!yekguo watch the whole movie not for the story but the cars and kept pointing 'em out but i cant recall the name at all since its all muffled. i like the mercedes thou slr or watever the name was

the hightlight of the show wasnt the shooting or the near sex part(pardon me) but know what?the bad english from an english man!what the heck?"They FIND our guy"?? said Dougray Scott who played the interpol guy,Mike Whittier when the the Russian managed to track Agent 47.i dunno whether i misheard it(i doubt it) or the mistake was delibrate(which i doubt also) but what the heck??

so anyway all in all it was i very nice change of a day. one month left in hols and im moving out T-T. study study study. i dun think im allowed for tuition again next year T-T...

cool pose

scan the barcode for price!!

Doushite?

2007-11-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

why?i demand an answer at least tell me something other than throwing vivid dreams. im tired of all that, really. i'm tired of waking up feeling tired and restless. this is soo *******. mann i just cant post any longer if i keep feeling my emo self creepin in every sentence.

ah..hu cares bout that.now listen to this song and take it home if you're not yet at home haha

-->lyrics<---

Romaji--------------

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
yume no hibi wo daijini ikimashou

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
bokura hibi wo tanoshinde ikitekou
saa ikuzo

ikimasu YAY

getsuyou hajimatta itsumo no hibi
omoi kogareta shuumatsu tooi
kayou suiyou naretekita goyousu tsukutta egao hikitsutta kamo

kizutsukya mokuyou
soutou juuyou
asu no yoru kara no yotei wa mitei dakara

kinyou ichinichi kangaeyou
jiyuu de kabe wo buchi kowashi ikou

hibi iki muite kokoro wa kumori
bokutachi wa sugisatte iku

ayumu kokoro wo akirametara soko de makeda okiraku ni ikou

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
yume no hibi wo daijini ikimashou

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
bokura hibi wo tanoshinde ikitekou
saa ikuzo

mou doushiyou mo nai muyou yaru koto ippai de kimochi wa kanpai
ichinichi yojikan suimin de hibi kono tairyouku wo tsukikomunde
otona ni naru tte dou iu koto
sotozura yoku shite sanjuugo wo sugita koro oretachi donna kao
kakkoii otona ni natteru no

hibi ikimuite kokoro wa kumori
bokutachi wa sugisatte iku
yukkuri de ii yamenai de itsuka suiteki kanarazu ishi wo gatsu

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
yume no hibi wo daijini ikimashou

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
bokura hibi wo tanoshinde ikitekou
saa ikuzo

kurikaeshi no mainichi de ikiba no nai kono kimochi
meguri meguri me maguru shikumawaru
mainichi wo oyogun damegezu ni LAUGH LAUGH

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
yume no hibi wo daijini ikimashou

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
bokura hibi wo tanoshinde ikitekou

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
yume no hibi wo daijini ikimashou

mou iccho

ashita kara mata nichi getsu ka
hora sui moku mawatte kin do
nichi you
bokura hibi wo tanoshinede ikitekou

English-----------------------

*From tomorrow, it's back 2 Sunday, Monday, Tuesday
Look, after Wednesday & Thursday come around, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Let's cherish these days of our dreams
1 more time
From tomorrow, it's back 2 S, M, T
Look, after Wednesday & Thursday come around, F, Sat, S
Let's enjoy ourselves in these days that belong to us
Come on, let's go*

I'll start
M starts these regular days
The weekend that I long 4 is still far away
I'm already used 2 the routines on T & W
The smile I faked might have just cramped

By the time I realize, it's Th
This is pretty important
Since I don't ve any plans 4 tomorrow night
I'll spend all of F thinking
Freely, I'll break through these walls & go

I survive everyday, but my heart is clouded
We get past these days
But if u give up on ur wandering heart
then that's where u lose, let's go at our own pace

This is a pattern that can't be helped
With so many things to do, my feelings are completely overwhelmed
Sleeping 4 hours a day, I concentrate 2 maintain this stamina from day 2 day

What does it mean 2 become an adult?
Keeping up our appearances now, what will we look like when we're 35?
Will we ve become cool adults?

I survive every day, but my heart is clouded
We'll get past these days
Going slowly is fine, just don't ever quit
Someday, this drop of water will finally hit its mark

In these reoccuring days, these feelings that ve no place 2 go
Circle around dizzyingly
We've got 2 swim through these days, w/o quitting, life dance

NANI!

2007-11-16T20:38:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE!!

How come i didnt realised what i did until He told me what actually it is??
...gee all i want is someone how can understand me and i dont realise that i'm actually trying those that's around me coming at last to that particular person. but thats the closest to me that i could ever find...haiz why should i let-or try to find-others to carry it with me. no one un...blah blah blah...
secretly i hope no one will realise it, but even a blindman know what i'm doing(quote from George Rathbun).
trying to apologize for something like this is certainly weird. i don't even know if its something you should apologize for. but anyway i'm sorry and i'm detaching myself from you-oh i did that like soo long time ago.

Of the reasons and the whys

2007-11-04T08:01:00.000+08:00

UPDATED------------------

sometimes i wonder why what my mom taught me was always particularly the opposite of what the whole world will say. but in that light it seems that its wrong but i think knowingly-or i would rather say unknowingly-she taught me is what i need to know universally and worked everything else out my way as it is best that way then any other way.and i understand it both way in the end how one end thinks and the other as well.so its rather balanced.
up till now and probably forever i think i wont take side in any circumstances out of sense and emotion but will be more of logic and safety be it with anything. call me selfish or anything in the end i think-as i already know exactly what happened-i would bear the burden of seeing both side in happy ending and me wounded by my own choice.funny it seems to me but i rather like it that way.
oh btw, i dun think its necessary anymore but i did not write this i term of anyone.N-E-U-T-R-A-L.atas pagar.unbiased.no side.

******************

1)why do people actually have fun doing something wrong?
first thing what is something wrong. whats wrong to one people might be right to the others. dont judge people from what they did but the reason behind it. for example your friends had fun hurting, think like this, there was someone before that had fun hurting him/her. all he/she did was to continue the chain. eventually someone with a good sense will break that chain and somehow its like the duty of the ones who knows.

2)why do some people hide what's inside, and then portray such a surface, that'll leave you turning your back on them to attack you?
.like i said before not all people did because they want to do it. there's something bigger above you that control you every decision for example God. you should understand that something that happened to you once will teach you so that you wont fall for it again think something that happened to you in positive way dont blame the ones that do it.then again you should never lossen up your defence in any circumstances what so ever.

3)why would someone turn into a complete monster, all for the sake of something he/she wants?
life is short. most people understand this and they tend too chase everything they want maybe for themselves, maybe others. human nature again and again. when they feel that they must have it they chase it even though it crosses some lines. some method might not seems right to us but face it when you want to answer a question any formula will do so that you can get an answer even if it turn out to be wrong.

4)why is reality so temperamental?
This is soo obvious. if the world is soo predictable and simple you'll do the same thing day by day like an office worker.if you think live a happy life you wont get boring trust me you will its human nature.

5)do everyone just escape from the clutches of reality, without a sense of responsibility, and hurting the people who care about them on the way?
no not all. some escape because they dont want to feel the pain. not all can understand this and its hard to expain unless you have a life like it. and hurting the ones around them?its not their fault all together.all they want is someone that understand them and all you have to do is to try and understand them.when one is hurt, especially mentally, one tends to hurt other for the sake of not being the only one hurts. this fact-morelike my observation-is inevitable and the only way to solve it is through logic thinking, which is to speak not all want to do.

6)do they not understand life at it is? or are they blinded by what they see on tv?
life is something..subjective. how one runs thier life is pretty much oblivious to other. secret life, double life blah blah blah.what one point of view of life is different from others. for example a teen view of life is way different from an adult one.<-purely example.mostly what we see as life is something based on moral and religion and those that wandered off the path is not living a life.pretty much a truth thats why there're religions in the first place to guide and teach the now ignorance human what is life again. tv?oh cut that crap you know that answer to that yourself.

7)why do they struggle so much, at something that they already know they can't have?
read the number 3. so long as theres live in me i'l do anything to have.its kinna hard to not have something you know the feeling yourself.if you see this in you life point of view you'l think its dumb. see it in history. like how Johor fight for Melaka.

8)did they understand the consequences of their actions?
yes and no. but they have to do it right?

9)why do some of them, though, know that what they have is just of a broken dream, but yet, they blind themselves from what is real, just to hold on for the good, even though they don't know how long it'll last?
people do anything to hold onto anything to keep them on their feet anything even a dream.because everyone know dream is surreal and it is the hardest one to come true.so back to basic, cling to the strongest one and you can stay on the board the longest

10)why do people make use of other people, including their family, and not even have a single bit of compassion after what he/she's done?
understand that some people when they're doing something they see only the end and not whats around it.hurting people in the process is something not everyone savour in fact some regreted it. and not all people is honest bout their feelings, man for example wont go out to their girlfriend and say i have a problem(if they did i dunno la)

thats all i know and thats all i could answer.to say i want to write this out of sheer boringness is a lie.i want to write this for a purpose and more like to release myself. its all gibberish when i look at it again but i think i met my purpose and i think i saw the flaws of my actions.i want to pursue this little life i have to the end of it though i know how hard it had been on me since i made the choice 7 years ago. i really wish i had taken that chance and lead a better life but nothing i can do bout it now.

p/s: when i read all this again i wonder when did i changed my style of writing or was it just my feeling?one thing for sure duckie told me my essay was...different.and that honestly scare the hell out of me

New element in the Periodic Table

2007-10-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

Whoa, I’m bloggin on my b’day just because I have nothing better to do. Yes I didn’t celebrate it because I never really did; yes I didn’t go out because I’m tired and unluckily its raining and yes I’m tired of ‘menelaah’ physics and add math and the rest of the subjects books.

Sad... Don’t mind that. Let’s get to subject.

BEWARE SEXIST POST AHEAD

Men always got problem with women because they don’t understand them. So to understand them we need to know them. To know them we need to study them. After we study them then we can -perhaps- understand them better.

Thus, some chemists and ‘sextologists’ took the initiative to conduct a really ‘big’ experiment for your benefit and they drew to this conclusion:

yes fear them...

Funny Pics

2007-09-30T18:43:00.000+08:00

there were nobody to take moo-chan's place since he decided i'm not fit to use his name any longer. thus, i've decided to dig out my old name, one dead chicken. for my classmates you know what it means for the rest, figure it out yourself...

names are just names no difference huh?but this blog just plunged into an emo abyss and perhaps still lingers there and i thought since it gonna be a very stressful+hectic study period till exam ends so just here to loosen up some knot.

you're never alone in your room, they're watching you

oh yeah...yeah..oh sad..

next time you find a staircase, make sure its real

miow, miow wat?cant hear you

best pic of the post

picture courtesy . still need some help with funny caption...haiz but the pics are funny though

of my little dream

2007-09-25T16:07:00.000+08:00

i never had such a good laugh ever in my DREAM! literally in my dream, i had a real good laugh which if i sit down and ponder for awhile i cant think of the reason why am i laughing soo bad at all. this is a good sign cause i rarely had such good dream that made me really happy about since the ones i had cant even be classified as dream(sad..)

It was a really dumb dream anyway but it told me good meaning, i think im a good dream interpreter haha. anyways dreams always have the chasing part but this time instead of scaring the hell out of me, the chase was soo funny and even funnier than this baby

practically because i've been chased by a golem with this face

big bulky and funny

so anyway, the story goes like this(supersimplified and modified to avoid moi's bizarre imagination):
i was in an underground ruin and start jumping about trying my new power(lame rite?) the ruin had this big golem(the one with the funny face but it wasnt funny then), a stone door and a stone head(another golem except smaller). then when im experimenting with my power by jumping about, breaking the door with the head countless times and wakin it up several time, mistakenly i woke up the big bad one.

what happened when you kena chase by 20 feet tall golem with bad mouth and funny expression?you RUN! i ran until reached the stone door picked up the big head and throw at the door but all i did was making few cracks and woke the small golem with hell of a temper
so i turn around and faced the golem and waddaya know i laugh when it struck me how funny the golem is!not funny to you of course..

explanation:
if i reflect everything back to my life it explained a lot, firstly the power is the new friends i have, the golem is the problem i faced when im 'playin' with my friends(which i did and i kena chased by it), the stone head golem is another problem i toyed with to escape my problem(dumb but everyone does it) and the door is the solution to my problem.
so you put it together your self! lol

you might wonder what kind of a person toyed with friends this is because you dont understand me. see to understand me you need to think as shwerdly as me, think as complex as a shopping complex. i didnt toy with them if that what you think and i cant hurt them, if i did it doesnt show cause what i did wasnt harmful to them but to me. the problem that occurs is like i say funny cause its stupid the way i shun away from it cause im paranoid, afraid that i'l hurt my friends(thats why i cant hurt them) so i run away from it, and when im stuck donno what to do i use another method to escape from it but all i did was creating more problem.

the moral:
never toyed with you friend like i did(what i did you also dunno. if you know tell me it might facinate me), face you problem instead of running from it and dont use another method to escape problem its problematic

aww, kim said im going thru my emo-phase...am i?i think i am since im so emo these day 'cept at sch but its passin. byebye emo world i will never miss ya and also byebye moo-chan im not fitting to use your name anylonger

p/s: what a lame post haha

yada, yada, ya...zzz

2007-09-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

-----------edited (i think i'l be failing my english test with wierd writing like this XD)

It’s been a long yada, yada day (or days) for me, a very long and monotonous time of the year and its the exam season, the season where everyone is muggin' and me trying to find an alternative way to make my day less monotonous.

Oh yeah, its fasting month also. So to clear up some misconception and some problem in class I think it’s necessary to write something here. Firstly don’t fret to eat or drink in front of me I don’t care much about it cause I’ve been fasting almost the whole month the month before I fall sick, so eat or drink all you like. And secondly, don’t keep reminding me to conserve my energy because in case you don’t remember, I played a few football games the year before last during fasting month.

Back to the exam thing, its like about few more weeks left too the finals and I’m catching up with my physics subject which I sucks badly in. never in my form 4 life I get to see the possibility of getting anything close to B3. Physics lovers gonna drive me up the wall and down and perhaps to the ceilings also..

Nothin much happened in my life so far, good or bad I don’t care much, except that I’m still partly sick, guess the weather is kinda bad these days, and that people in my class starts yapping bout the opposite sex quite frequently and it annoys me a lot. Not that it means anything bad, it’s just that the way they talk annoys me...excuse me.haiz maybe cause i just can't fit, like fit fit in, in the conversation cause im in the wrong community, a lost species stranded in God knows where habitat.

Something else also, who gave my number to Maurice?

Online Videos by Veoh.com

another YUI new single JAM, a weird song but nice nonetheless

p/s: like my new lavender(purple) YUI layout?it took me half a week to finish all of them including the css sheet, which made this layout my very first one. oh comments are really appreciated

Asu e no tobira

2007-09-16T06:26:00.000+08:00

for natalie (i couldnt send it to you till next week), kar wei (mann i missed the old you), yee siang for keep asking what song it is and...for thats all

the original by I WiSH

Younha's audition

instrumental ver by 12 Girls Band

of my crumbling life

2007-09-12T17:03:00.000+08:00

The fall of moo-chan draws near, so near that it seems that it was just a hair breadth apart.

How does moo-chan come to life? easy, one day im so bored cause im stuck at school doing my koperasi duty. so during lunch time i sneaked up to computer room-sneaked up?- and open all the blog address that i could remember. so when i want to comment, using my oh-so-cute name doesnt seems suitable at all thus resulting in a brain blast which eventually lead to the birth of moo-chan my cute counter part. honto! that's who moo-chan is(or was) for those of you who fail to get the answer right.

But lately, gee cute doesnt seems right to describe the whole world for me any longer. These are the pieces of my crumbling life, the scraps that were left behind as a memento.

for as long as i could remember i always learn something the hard way, the way when it most likely will leaves permanent scars in my life and i have enough of the scars already. maybe my friends are right when they said that i dont know how to speak nice stuff and always be frank with them. but i lied enough in my life for once i dont want to lie about what i thought for once i wish i could just speak something without concealing something behind. im tired off all that running away now and i want to rest i would like it to end somehow.

believe it or not, the thought of suicide crossed my mind few time since i was young. trust me i was as weak as a new born bird in life, though how i look, though how i perceive thing im always be that little kid who hids away. not because im a coward no never a coward but i had enough i know what is pain more that most of you know, the feeling of blunt knife cutting your heart each and every day is just part of my every day.

maybe because i know what is pain that sometimes i wish others could never feel the samething though sometimes, out of human instict, i wish i never go through this alone at least someone else must feel the samething.

true, i laugh,joke around and act like a dumb boy but the truth lies behind my every smile. if kim said eric is someone with 2 face, i have too many of it that i lost track of how many faces i've put to conceal whats behind.

my past never been behind me all these years. subconsciously i dragged it with me all the time. it pains me but i never could let it go. no matter how i wish it all to be gone, even wishing that i knocked my head to amnesia, it will never be. like a scar that will never goes off no matter what technology you used.

ahh...even now i wish i could just end it, life without a dream seems pointless. i walked the same old, bleak, monotonous road everyday wishing i chose the other road instead. now, then and always, i dont belong here nor will i ever be accepted again to where i was. i'm a phantom of my own mistakes, mistakes that i have to make to survive, mistakes that i was forced to make to ease what i felt.

im tired and i wish i could feel what is it like to live in a life without pain.(most probably i'l be dragged to counseling by posting this haha but who cares you know i wont reveal anything)

p/s: whats here keep it here. unless you know the way to change the whole situation its pointless trying to make me say anything. sharing is caring thats what you thought me but i shared everything except this, you'll never understand why..

Of Y.M.C.A and M.C.S

2007-08-31T15:49:00.000+08:00

Moo-chan is down with YUI's Miraculously Cute Affliction (Y.M.C.A):

needless to say she is so cute and talented. no point explaining further.but too bad lots of her MV not that good(sometimes moo-chan wonder why the Jap's MV kinda weird).but nee way see the one below.

her new single...

my fav song(kinda) the MV is from the movie Taiyo no Uta-cause the real one.....

Oh yah also, moo-chan having another round of M.C.S (Moo-Chan's Syndrome) so, better avoid him till he get his head in the world again(which is partly impossible from his light) but anyway, the only way for him to recover is to be at school so please understand.

p/s: probably wont post till the end of the third week.Pray im alive till then

i-fell tower

2007-08-25T09:41:00.000+08:00

say your teacher gave you a choice of either build a model or act a drama which one you prefer?neither! ASLFKASDJ! moo-chan hates project!MOO~~

bull charge!!

but anyway moo-chan is a very dedicated student -insert vomit sound here- so he decided to form up a team of superheroes. more like the combination of HG and Moo-Chan.guess what you get from a join leadership of kar wei and moo-chan?

Damnit kar wei i hate the name!

soo with all our superhero(or his HG) might, we combined our power to build the almighty tower of love. yesh the eiffel tower. the lovely eiffel tower.

there're reasons to do so:

to relieve the class's love urges(ewwww)
moo-chan cannot watch rush hour 3
~~if do wrong can mock the tower badly~~

what you get when you combine 3 very weird creature?a cow, a hard gay and a shark?an "i-fell tower of crush". the crooked tower in which the heartbroken dim-wit people go to express their crush when you build a nice tower must have nice panorama.so if you build a tower of crush you get like a very educative scene. an A-B-C one or fruity-fruity one.built from all the love of these three creatures the tower was overloaded with love that it potrait what happened when you poured too much love on a stuff.a massacre.

a massacre with fruits as a background

now, imagine your hand is dripping with the PVA glue the sticky sticky white colour stuff and.........under that........KAR WEI DID THAT!!!-need a very disgusting imagination to do so- legend said that when you had a crush write your crush number there and you crush will call you like later....

soo if we can build our own weird tower, moo-chan also wan to build his own tower

MOO-TOWER!!!

why my sch is very wierd

2007-08-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

ever wonder why my sch is weird?if you're new or not in affiliate with my sch then of course you dont right?so here i am, uncovering the sch deepest and darkest so called 'secret'.this has nothing to do with insulting the sch just a lame joke from a bored moo-chan.err -not a crime right?-

MY SCHOOL

in case you still blur blur what it is, its SMK ST which is somewhere close to no where. Where?lets not continue there. whats SMKST? its an acronym of course from the word School of Misbehaved Knowledgeable Stunning Teens (by da gui gui).

We are sooo stunning that the moment you see us you'll be petrified as if Neville just shot you with a nice Petrificus Totalus.

That is our lovely school badge, or else known as the LENCANA.freaking nice 1 i tell you, the picture never been the same as the original one for i donno how long. see the cute swirly thing in the so called wheel?it suppose to be in the shape of an 'S'.on our badge it look like some sort of weird hammer and on our books its not there...not one trace of the weird S thingy.

the S and the wheel suppose to mean how aSSy we are and how we like to go around causing trouble, the book or in the majalah said 'bulu' under the wheel is how we potrait our love for books and the so called 'kalungan bunga' means how stunning we prospered.... under a wheel.

let go to my school then: firstly you see this:

the sch, if you havent read the post in my class blog- http://science1blog.blogspot.com/, practically filled with monkeys and birds. the sch itself is adapting to this environment by installing new and improved toys to make sure all this animals are occupied...you dont wish to see otherwise.

The monkey trail (with the flags) is a fun place for all the monkeys to exercise their arm, which in turn pains their armpits, and the birds to for once hang around some safe spots or else they might hung themselves along the electrical wires and get themselves electrified (which is not that bad) compared to lang speeches from the "Gun".

Our school was once a favourable spot for the prehistoric animals AKA dinosaurs. They had been hanging around the place and leaves some artifacts that are still visible for example:This baby dino have been fossilised there after a futile effort to wait the pot of luck to melt. he is so patient that sometimes water starts pouring out of his mouth. we honour his effort by gardening the whole spot and making it our tourist attraction.

this is our most 'beautiful' place in the school, our pond. now this is the secret part. the pond though look soo peaceful and calm was once a place for:

the 'best' team in the whole wide world

2007-08-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

The 'best' team in the whole wide world believe it that it wast my class! the only moments and times where i had the best of the best assembled before me was like a millenium ago which was like long-long-time-ago-in-a-galaxy-far-far-away.
haha i cant believe im stuck here looking over people who grow up under the loving arms of the so called loving parent which turns them into lovely people who loves to talk about'lovely' stuff which was soo lovely that i turned green hearing them.so civilised i tell ya.
apparently the only thing they know were money, friends, study and....money?all the other things was like lost in their mind.their fav equation?Love+Problem+Suffering=Life, which was sooo simple like as if they want to live in it FOREVER-insert echo here-
mann they are the one i called brats and spoiled brats the ones who only know how to complain when the see the soo called boulder in the midst of a wide road the one that said i hate it though the fact they dont the one that i despised the most. for years only now i see the difference between the malays and the chineses which is, if i look back, i though i see nothing that is until i saw their true colours which was haiz...
why cant they just like listen to orders and try to improvise when see something bad happened instead of complaining how hard it is?why in the world they cant focus on the one thing that they one day can benefit from?haiz so lame, now i missed my old team mates...
Conspiracy is brewing in my class and i tried to avoid it from you know....i never learn the word friend, love or hate. i know what i know and i know nothing except what i believe in and that is truth and the good in people.

i Hate iT!!!

2007-08-13T18:06:00.000+08:00

another freaking sickly english week!!mann why cant stuffs just go on their track without any obstacles?though secretly moo-chan hate simple stuff like that, my fault lo....but hey sometimes its boring without such stuff right but most of the time its not like what moo-chan always have those times where people enjoys having these kind of obstacles, now i live in a place where everyone have nothing else to do except complain, grow up la!stupid all these people have stuff to do dont want to do, other people's work sibuk sibuk want to do, bugs off la, do what you're told to do and make other people life more enlighting without you and your stupid, pointless and childish ideas.if you have soo much ideas piled up in your brain why dont you say it properly in an orderly and formal way instead of bugging people.at least think bout what you're saying first before spitting it out or else moo-chan might knock the hell out of you.

another thing, if you dont understand something speak up or else people thought you understand what to do, if you want to do something speak up so moo-chan no need to go to soo much trouble looking for people who can and if you DONT want to do something give a reasonable reason why instead of sulking like babies mann how old are you??

today was like...haizz.why that koala absent on the wrong day??at least tell people if you think you might not be there so i cant arrange something else...ARRGGHHHH!err..wait, kira's grave shaking *shhhh*

i guess not all people, especially boy, are mature enough to see the world in its big picture, why they're slow and why moo-chan bit fast?ask them your self, everyday talk the S topics, G topics and all the L topics how can they grow up?soo like that la, cannot tahan scolding somemore, haizz...lame la soo kidish, luckily moo-chan cant gat angry.

again, take heed of all the activities as please take part kay?

moo-chan designed this like long time ago

moo-chan's moment

2007-08-12T18:48:00.000+08:00

you might have spotted the difference in colour scheme in this used to be murky place, yah the blackish, darkish, depressed old Kira stabbed himself to death, or was it jumped off the 50 stories building?anyway, lets have a one minute silence in the memory of Kira..*------------*
now that he's dead moo-chan shall take over this place!!ALL HAIL MOO-CHAN! ALL HAIL MOO-CHAN!LET THE MOO~ SAGA BEGINS!!*cough* anyways that kira is well known for his ability to sprung up to life at the wrong place on the wrong time so when you spot that the all-so-emo guy suddenly creeping out in the words notifies moo-chan before he take over this place again. Rest In Pieces.
Now back to the matter concerned. Saw the layout d? yah moo-chan design that personally, but not the code though, moo-chan still sucks in CSS code lazy to remember all those stuuuupid codes and brackets whatever la those thing.*spray Be-Gone insecticide* die you MUHAHAHA.
gin-sama is sooo cuddly cute no?his cryptic smile oh so cute like wan to...*ehem* Behind the Smiling Face, thats the theme.The truth behind his smiling face is a mystery the same as Soujiro from the Rurouni Kenshin(you probably never heard of it) He soo cute also!the reason moo-chan picked him? he so very similar to moo-chan.
Some with eye of eagle with super precision spotted that the picture of gin-sama is a mixture of three different thing. some said that one gin look cute and the other two look mature, that right, moo-chan cant hide himself in designs. moo-chan is 1 part cute and 2 part mature (and 10 part nutcase). in other case the three gin portrait three different emotion, one super cute, one deep in thought and the other flashing that oh so cute smile. that also reflects moo-chan.
and the blood is just appropriate as a symbol of kira's death.see he's bleeding and that means he is real, no? i bleed just to know i'm alive- from sharlene, haha.
why naruto so slow this week moo-chan is eager to read. and moo-chan just bought his 1G pendrive yesterday! that wasn't the case, the case is moo-chan spot the book he wan to read, The Last Spymaster. anyone so kind to buy for moo-chan?he's broke haha.
tomorrow is the start of another boring english week, pray that moo-chan will survive.*plays I Will Survive song* oh yah...SUPPORT THE RECYCLING CAMPAIGN!!!

i might draw again for charity that is to help people say, you want?

my cute gin-sama

why in the world moo-chan see his english like...haiz watever

something new to learn

2007-08-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

i dont want to post anything actually, until my other post answered, but since....haiz..
but anyways its a really fun dae to write bout. fun+fun = nuts.*look back at the equation* err..no no not like that its fun x crazy + extream boredom= total insanity. look much much better haha. really i never had so much fun being a nutsy for like few..days? muhahaha im a total nutcase. but the truth is its a very long fun dae of kursus, the first time i had so much fun though i did do anything (neglect the oh so crazy nutsy acts).
but being stuck with the siow family(got the pun?) really double the crazyness. one is a total lame joker the other a very lame..whats the word again? too bad i didnt sit with kar wei or else, wow who knows what i might do, jump over the benches shouting HG!! haha just too bad.
i didnt expect the form 2 and 5 ppl to join in though that day. i thought only us the form 4 but if like that its better to let the whole class go right more...crazy(how many did i use that word?). the truth is i didnt feel so good about going actually since i had a rough night(why i also cant remember, such thing i rather discard it literally) and forgot to take my add math note book from my table though i remember it few minutes before i went out..(why...?)but after lets see..i pushed yee jie for annoying me i think i have pushed something else too, my sanity.
the guy there was like, a real nutcase with all those got knows why shouting and lame jokes and the convent girls in the front row keep him so busy minding them, why? i cant remember, except they answer questions lamely. but turns out that guy wasnt actually a real nutcase, too bad, but quite a serious one. he changed his voice like to a different octave the moment it all got serious like wow i cant believe he could do that, not after he became a santa claus.
then i got an idea, since i'll be stuck there like for a long time why dont i just play along with the kursus instead like being a lame guy sitting there like what most of our form student do. really, its a very good decision i never like have so much fun being crazy haha. all those stupid clappin, and shoutin and wowing not mentioning making lame comments about what the lecturer said.
funny, he thought us to love exams, wierd just wierd haha...*run to the corner* err i think i do love exams...but most of what he told us to do i did it already. lets see my way to become an 'A' star student is....have fun even though its just like seconds away to the exam
long post sometimes tiring so cut it short

i do love exams i tell ya!

reasons for my acts

2007-08-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder what have i done to make certain things change intentionally or unintentionally. i do spot the changes even though you hide it from me. thus i wonder again is it something that i've done before and you still kept it in you backyard, bury it deep inside the earth with the tomb stone that will and always remind you of what i've done everytime you walk pass it.
i know what i did wrong and sometimes and i tried to ask forgiveness for it cause its hard for me to forget my mistakes, but most of the time people just say it with words but never throw away my mistakes that they buried instead only the tombstone or rather just change it with another momento they thought i cant see, and i despised it cause deep down inside you still rememeber it, though there is still some who ignore my plea.
Thus here, though i know it wont change a thing bout what you'll do with those memories, i thought by clarifying it i might just as well calm my self that i at least try to ask for it. read on i beg you and please, please and please reply.
Sorted from past to present and future:

reason for my acts

past--------------

because of my childishness
because of my stupidity
because of my extream curiousity
because of the compulsion to know
because of my lack of thinking
because i my brain tracks behind my actions
because i miss my old friends(more like old enemies)
because of misunderstanding
because i like to take advantages and gamble what i have

present and future---------------

because i want to learn more
because its hard to see you got what i always want
because i tried to live my life
because its hard to break old habits
because i know im still learning
because sometimes i just forget who you are
because most of the time im too cautious
because i'm trying my best to get my answers without hurting you

if these doesnt clarify things i donno what will. i really hope you'l forgive me(i know you know who this post referring to). to tell the truth every conversations we had were going this way not just for the fun of it. so, i begging you please reply, maybe you could sleep over your mistakes but i for sure cant

friend

2007-08-01T17:15:00.000+08:00

its been a while since i dreamt about my friends so very often. though i cant actually recall what i just dreamt as it always been so in dreams. so i thought it just feels appropriate to write something regarding them.

friend is one big topic to talk about. the thing you call friend could mean many thing especially if you have a complex mind like me who unintentionally classifies every thing in groups without any sane reason(just for the fun of it). thus here I'll write some of the class. note that i say some cause most of it is something you don't want to read as it might make most of you angry when you also 'unintentionally' sort your self in those groups which is not at all healthy, trust me. simply there are more than a handful of group which not at all nice to know though it still falls under the friend group.

in the some nice ones is those must have ones in your friends list. if you in anyway lack of them, its a bit trouble some and when you have them your life looks a bit more easier.

they're:

people with the same mind pattern
people with the same mind
people who you could throw your tantrum at harmlessly

note that number 1 and 2 look the same in fact sounds the same but the truth is they're two different things. though number 1 could fall into the second group but i cant be the other way around. here the explaination for each group and why we need them..

the first group, people with the same mind pattern, is a very hard to find people. this is because not many people think alike, as that what it mean to find people with the same mind pattern. usually most people only have at least 30-40% of alike-ness(cute word eh) between their friends and these usually are people which came from the second group. understanding between friend in deeper way, meaning they have at least have 50-70% of alike-ness helps a lot in life. why? as you walk through the mundane path of life sometimes you'll come to boundaries and not all boundary is easy to pass by. most of the time ,like most of my friends, people will stuck there unable to move, which is usually the time where you need to choose. therefore when you have such person in your set of friend, they'll help you think a solution to go out of it simply because 2 brains works better than one. when you're like me who won't at all tell anything to anyone else, such friend could be a role or an example cause when you have the almost same pattern things just goes and happened the same way between the two. so when one part of you down look for that part back in the others.

the second group, people with the same mind, is something every people sought for. these friends are precious as you could spend hours upon hours talking non stop. the difference between between the first and the second? the first group is like a mirror of your self while the second is like the other part of you, the one that completes you. why these friend important? firstly, it helps you to express your self as you have the same mind. usually couples forms a couple based on this group because it just simply easier cause it completes one another.

the third group, people who you could throw your tantrum at harmlessly, is also very important. in fact to some it is too important that they neglect the other part feelings. these people usually are people who understand you the most. they know who you're and care for you. most of friends and siblings falls in this group. why it is important? when the second group people not anymore compatible, the third one usually is where you usually reside. they;re like your everyday friends and dont't ever left them behind when you are having fun with the second and thrid group. cause only this group is everlasting while the other two are just as fragile as a stick.

i'm very thankful to have all three of them. for they're very rare and i treasured them all, though i never say it out loud.

p/s: two pictures on the same page will never meet. get the meaning?

Selfish

2007-07-29T07:33:00.000+08:00

you want to be selfish? trust me you got your money alright but the fish smell linger much longer than you thought it might be. There no reason to be one, even the slightest thought about it is not normal. if you want be to selfish y don't you see first what in the market. there's already a lot of fishmonger around you there's no need for you to join the market right? Why you wan to be one?
simply envy that you get the same share as other? or just because you had enough of sharing everything with everyone? there's a big gap there. those two weren't the same in any way.
if your envious, then you'r dumb, or perhaps dumber than the word dumb.. really la, sharing is the joy of life. you life in a same world, under the same gaia not like you'r living alone. sharing is part of our everyday life. there's joy there, in their reactions, their emotions. try to see with your heart (ohh i heard the disney song) and you only will see the truth. dont be blinded by your eyes.
if you had enough of sharing its a different story. you'r not dumb here but coward and weak. in this story, it seems more likely that no one appreciate what you'r doing and you just wan people to see to evaluate you, to know that you'r there. if its this way, walk away. being selfish doesn't solve it at all.

the pros(of being one)
- as i said, you get what you one surely.
- you'l lead a simple life
- you'l be alone.(if that what you want)

the cons
- you'l be left alone(you'r choice)
- you cant have what other have (for free)
- deserted for life.(fun oh)

i hate testss

2007-07-24T17:18:00.000+08:00

cant believe it first time in this year that i think i gonna get B for my agama paper!!!ahhhhhhh...i should not fall asleep last night, y in the world i'm feeling so very tired these days. oh dont wan to talk about physics obviously i'l be getting very bad that the word bad cant express it enough. what a shame that of all the subjects im taking i always have trouble couping with this one even though it doesnt have that much different with ad math wierd..at least 2moro paper gonna murder me if i fall asleep again. and guess wat, kar wei disturb my nap just to annoy me, now the sleep problem really gonna be a problem.

school gonna get really messy after this test(for me that is). i'll be having the science carnival competition(i still cant believe we won) for 3 days starting friday which ends on sunday(why...). and at the same time i;ll miss the camping on the sunday(why...). afterward..hmm rush shoping for pn sharifah's persaraan on the 1st august(why it took so long to make a decision to buy a present?). now with all the competitions i cant pick a right time to go and buy. it time to find ppl to do it for me then...

for some reason i still cant believe that i'm appointed to the english society work as almost a chairman(im only a treasurer mind ya) and the one who suppose to do the job is not me. i'm not suppose to be the one to call a meeting, decide something or 'kena' blaze by teacher!!its all SHAWN'S work!!! y in the world he choose to reside in his boring and lenghty not mentioning hopeless(or is it?) fantasy...t and now he like soo very..(how to put it..) errr... 'panda-ish'(or polar bear-ish) like soo very touchy and get angry easily which is kinda weird with his curious enigmatic smile he flashed everytime he sees me(explain that!).yuck...

i guess i should stop my neopet addiction by now, now that i dont need any stress reliever anymore. dumb play neopet...oh that s mean i wan to cut my internet time also by lets see....err half? that should be alright i think..(half?NOOOO..)

i guess writing all these helps me to ease me stress a bit( abit only ohh) and thats enough cause a bit of stress is sometime comfortable. check the songs down there and tell me if you have some nice songs you wan to share

which one cuter?

Alive

2007-07-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

a month without nice book to read. plus the 'little' sickness i had...thats torturing or worst..but sometimes things come to you at times where you think it not neccessary to have it around in other you dont want it there at that time. simply this stuffs just know how to pick the bestest time for it to appear(self conciousness) and this time it appeared 5 days before my 3rd monthly test. two books at the same time cooler eh?since i'm those type of people who really gonna be tempted by such things i cant find a best way to avoid me from reading them(stowing makes matter worse you know why). lets see..i got a book called the falling leaves and harry potter and the deathly hollows all within the 5 days. since im soo freaking hungry to read and not reading it like not eating the food in front of you when you're really really hungry is just play dumb. telling me to give the test my first prority are just a waste of energy cause i wont in any sane way i could ever think of.
but i've done with the falling leaves 2 days after i got it a pretty nice biografi book(my fist nice one) and the same goes to harry potter 2 days(though if you count by hours only 21 hours(approx)) my reading speed increase dramaticly MUHAHAHA...but reading fast isn't good unless you have a library at home(a freaking huge one).cause as soon as you're done with the book you'll craving for one almost instantly.
i wish i could talk about harry potter the last book here..but since i'v promise yee siang not to be a spoiler(which i probably would) and let him savour the time i think its not really a good idea but i'l let some slip any way. The book(obviously) has a really good plot. but since its kinda a children book so for those whose mind really really good at catching information its pretty bad(especially in the beginning) because when the stupid hero is cracking their head you know the answer first...so from wat said in the bracket..yah the beginning quite *yawn* boring(opps) and the climax was like really fast and cool while the ending was pretty weird and simple(oohhh i wish i could spoil it). but compared to james patterson's book, jkr book quite slow paced(no wonder its a thick book) and waste alot of paper describing the unneccessary. soo thats all for now eh..i wish to spoil more but haiz..then no fun anymore(if do at sch can threat him more satisfying MUHAHAHA)

my book cover(though its not my picture)

the reasons

2007-07-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

finally fall back to my ol bloggie..i never had time to post anything for about half a year already.since i cant find any other better things to do (unless you called the piling up homeworks and projects bettter) i think to go back and fill this empty blog again would be a very nice idea. let see what happened since the last time i post....ii wrote 2 scripts for my book- but never had time to write it yet(school pesshh..), i got a new com with vista and streamyx(got that? my wish granted buuu~yaaaa~!), hmm being responsible for the english week which is pretty dumb- leader ship is very hard trust me-, won the 2 science festivals competition- i wish i could enter the rocket launching that rocket is soo cute...- and err... got my projects done with- which is pretty ugly from the scale of 1 - 5 its -1- and and...i got my psychology problem again this year...the last time i had it this bad was like 2 years ago. come to think of it exactly 2 years ago. its an almost annual problem. imagine having your brain without your brain, confusing isn't it? its like having a healthy brain which work properly, at the same time cant control what happening inside. look pretty simple d? now what if the part you cant control is your emotions? oh if you'r thinking of just anger and remorse think further...its emotions and almost every emotion- luckily not sanity. first one that popped in your mind is supposely the one with the letter L. yup that counts too.
mann imagine hating someone without the sanest reason(thats quite natural) then what if to love someone with out a reason???trust me I might just as well crack my brain to find the reason but only found my self bleed to death-which is much better than this insanity. periodic or not this sicky problem caused a lot more damage than you could imagine. but experience is priceless. if its periodic, then i could look for a better way to stop it from driving to insanity- which it almost did when im in form 2- and put a stop to conciously. it took me three days to actually crack the bond to break it and few days to carefully dispose every fragment to make sure it doesnt regenerate on it self..which is pretty hard to do since the 'problem' is much closer to me and the best way to put a stop to this problem is to avoid the 'problem'. but i have my way in this stuff and i wont write it down in case you're the 'problem'. if like that i might be bombarded with questions that i might not want to answer...writing bout this problem might tell you why i'v been acting weird for the past few weeks for that i'm soo terribly sorry. and writing this down revealed my hidden self (a bit) but since i'v told someone bout it so there is no actual reason to hide it any longer and also perhaps i just want you people to understand y i'm acting in such way.

p/s: i only focus on one emotion only cause its part of the main reason but the problem is emotions so a vast topic and stating all my problem only(might) cause more problem( and perhaps a liiitttle bit more concern from ppl which i dont really adore). also because this lil 'L' part is the hardest to overcome and i'v done with it(for awhile) and i could almost call it as a celebration though the problem haven't been disposed properly yet....

AHHHHHH......FEW MORE HOURS TO HARRY POTTER!!!!!